(Minghui.org) I never thought I would end up a single parent.
When our daughter was two years old, my husband divorced me after my father was arrested for telling people how wonderful Falun Dafa is—he was afraid of being implicated since I also practice Falun Dafa.
Concerned about my daughter, one of my friends made the comment that children who grow up in single-parent households can be very problematic. I didn't agree.
Before My Daughter Started to Practice Falun Dafa
When my daughter was three, I often asked her, “Would you like to practice Falun Dafa with me?” She always replied, “Not now—after I grow up.” I didn't push her because I thought maybe she was still too young.
Like other mothers, I registered her in early childhood education programs. My daughter was like other regular kids: she often cried at night, got sick, wet the bed, and refused to go to daycare. My parents and I were often exhausted.
My father worried that I might lead my daughter in the wrong direction: “You always talk about different education theories, but you know that the right path is to guide your daughter to learn Falun Dafa. Falun Dafa is the best education in this world.”
I didn't listen to him at that time. But an amazing thing happened a year later that completely changed us.
How My Daughter Started to Practice Falun Dafa
It occurred when my daughter was four years old. She got pinworms from the childcare center. I thought she would be fine after applying the medicine for a few days.
However, half a month passed and she still had pinworms. One day my mother told me something strange: after she put the medicine on my daughter, she checked up on her a few minutes later and the medicine had disappeared. I suddenly realized that it might be Master giving me a hint that it was time to guide my daughter to practice Falun Dafa.
I whispered to my mother what I was thinking, but my daughter overheard me. She got very excited, jumped up on the bed, and announced, “Mom, I want to practice Falun Dafa now!” We couldn't have been happier.
I started to play Master's lectures for her. Two days later, her pinworms were gone. After personally experiencing the miracle herself, my daughter was even more excited.
After that, she listened to Master's lectures every night before she went to bed. Many of her problems soon disappeared. She didn't wet the bed anymore, she didn't get colds as often, and she didn't cry when she went to the childcare center.
Sometimes she had a fever but she still listened to Master's lectures and her fever was usually gone by the next morning. I knew it was Master who was purifying her body. She was already a little practitioner.
Recognizing Chinese Characters Without Being Taught
Then I decided to read Zhuan Falun to her. Since she was still too young to recognize any characters, I told her to repeat after me.
At first, she was very naughty and often ran around the room while repeating what I read. I had to try all kinds of things to get her to stay seated. It often took us a very long time to finish just one paragraph.
My mother saw how exhausted I was and said, “Maybe she is still too young. How about we try a different way?” But it would be two more years before my daughter went to school to learn Chinese characters. I didn’t want to wait that long.
No matter how hard it was, I insisted on reading the book with her. Gradually, she was able to sit next to me for longer and longer periods of time. It took us a year to finish reading Zhuan Falun the first time.
By then, my daughter was five. I still remember the day I discovered she could read. It was a bright sunny day and we were on a bus. She was very happy and started to read the advertising posters in the bus. I was so surprised that she knew so many characters. I’d never taught her any. When we read Zhuan Falun, she simply listened to me and then repeated what I’d read.
I asked her, “How do you know all these characters?” She said, “I don't know. The characters just seem very familiar and I just know how to read.”
Then we started to read Zhuan Falun for the second time. This time she could read it on her own. She knew every single character in the book! She finished the book in a couple of months and immediately started to read it again.
One day, she told me that when she was reading, there was a big screen in front of her. The screen displayed different scenes to help her understand what she read.
For example, when she read, “When an average person is humiliated, he'll draw his sword to fight” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun), she saw two men from ancient times fighting with swords.
When she started elementary school, there was less time to study the Fa. I told her, “If you are willing to get up earlier in the morning, we can study as usual.” My mother laughed, “Do you think that’s possible for a first grader?” But my daughter replied loudly, “I can do that!”
Indeed, she got up early the next morning, the first day of school, to study with me.
She had to get up even earlier after she was chosen to lead her classmates to read in the morning. But she was able to handle it. Although sometimes she couldn't get up in time, she cultivated the habit of studying the Fa every day. My mother said, “Kids who cultivate Falun Dafa are indeed different from other kids.”
Giving Up Tutoring
Nowadays in China, every child struggles to attend “tuition schools” so they won't be left behind.
Initially, I didn't register my daughter for any tutoring classes, since the most important thing for her was to study theFa every day. Actually, her report cards were always good.
But in fifth grade, she was under a lot of stress because all the other kids who went to tuition schools learned thematerial in advance. Without outside tutoring help, it was hard to for her to keep up with her classmates. Not to mention the competition in applying to top middle schools.
I then signed her up for many tutoring classes, including writing, math, and English. However, we discovered that she had no more time after school to study the Fa. She was very tired and, instead of improving, her grades fell.
Master said,
“In fact, individual efforts can change minor things in one's life. Some minor things can be altered slightly through individual efforts, but it is precisely because of your efforts for change that you may obtain karma. Otherwise, the issue of committing karma would not exist, and neither would there be the issue of doing good deeds or wrong deeds.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that my daughter and I were headed in the wrong direction. We’d bought into the push to compete promoted by the amoral education system. We started to look inward, know there must have been some attachments for us toeliminate. We discovered that we did have strong attachments to fame and the desire to save face.
It was not easy to eliminate these attachments. We had a very tough time. When everyone was signing up for the different tutoring classes, it was very hard not to do the same. My daughter said that the more she wanted a good score, the lower the score she got. But we didn't give up. We worked harder as genuine practitioners, and even though it took us a long time, we were able to steadily eliminate our attachments.
In the end, my daughter only went to the math tutoring class. I told her that she didn't need to force herself to learn things in advance, that simply trying her best was enough. The most important thing was to study the Fa every day and to exchange our thoughts and experiences.
Gradually, my daughter's grades improved. Even without attending the outside tutoring classes, she earned excellent scores on her final language and foreign language tests. In addition, she didn't think it was that important to get into a top middle school. She said, “Mom, I think it is better to go to a middle school nearby so that I can have enough time to study the Fa and do the exercises.”
Resisting the Temptation of Electronics
Nowadays, most kids spend a lot of time playing video or computer games, watching cartoons, and streaming videos. My daughter was one of them.
For a while, my daughter was addicted to her smartphone and watching cartoons. As a result, she slacked off in hercultivation. During that time, it was not only difficult for her to focus on academics but she also became extremely irritable. Only playing Master's lectures could calm her down. But when she played games, she became irritated again. She was exhausted.
It was exactly what Master said,
“Spending unnecessary time on the computer or playing video games has the same effect; it’s the same idea. If you want to quit, that thing won’t want you to since it would die. And so it will do all in its power to make you engage in those things. And if you try not to, it will interfere with your work or studies by causing your mind to crave them. If you refuse, it might even make you do those things in your dreams.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Team Yellow Translation)
In theory, my daughter understood that she should stay away from those electronic devices. However, she was surrounded by them and it was very hard for her to resist the temptation.
In order to create a better environment for her, we only kept one smartphone for the whole family and only turned it on when necessary. We visited the websites run by Falun Dafa practitioners and watched programs about Chinese traditional culture.
We also spent time together doing arts and crafts. Once, she brought her artwork to a fair at school and they all sold! Once more she saw that life could be wonderful without electronics.
Actually, although she can't be totally without electronic devices, she has better self-control now. She is the only one in her class who doesn't play computer games. She often told me, “Master is helping me all the time. Whenever I spent too much time on computer games, I got very uncomfortable and itchy. If I stopped right away and spent more time studying the Fa and doing exercises, all those symptoms disappeared in a couple of days.”
The Power of Compassion and Forbearance
My daughter often had a hard time in school if she was treated badly or unfairly. There are two incidents I still remember very clearly to this day.
In second grade, she was the one who led her classmates to read early in the morning. Her partner, who was supposed to keep order in the class, was often late and often found excuses not to do her job. That meant my daughter had to do everything by herself. This went on for several months.
One day, she couldn't bear it anymore and started to complain. I told her, “As a Falun Dafa practitioner, enduring hardship is not a bad thing. Maybe we need to have more forbearance?” She didn't get the support she was looking for from me and started to cry.
When she calmed down, I asked her, “So let's think about what we should do. Report your partner to her parents or to your teacher?” She shook her head. “Then how about you go to school late and let your partner also do your job?” She wiped her tears, “That would only make things worse.”
The next day, she left home at the usual time. Later on, I found out that the situation didn't get any better until the end of the semester. But my daughter didn't complain. However, things changed miraculously the second semester. Her partner came to school on time every day and took her duty seriously. When my daughter asked her why, she replied, “It is very strange. I don't know why but I just want to get up earlier and go to school early.”
Another incident I remember pertains to a boy in my daughter's class. He was a troublemaker and no one liked him. Usually, if a student wasn't doing well in school, the teacher would assign a classmate to help that student. The boy had many helpers, but none of them could work with him for long. In fact, no one wanted to help him.
One day, the teacher asked the entire class if anyone would volunteer to be the boy's helper. No one raised their hand. When the teacher asked a second time, my daughter raised her hand. Her classmates were stunned. I was very proud of her.
After that, my daughter had no free time between classes. While others were playing, she had to help the boy with his homework and answer questions. At first, the boy resisted working with her.
We talked about the best way to help him. My daughter said she should not yell at him as other helpers did. That would hurt his feelings and also make her lose virtue. No matter what, she should simply be kind to him. Thus, whenever the boy didn't do his work, my daughter just reminded him, “If you continue to be like this, I can't help you.”
Beyond all expectations, my daughter's kindness did, in fact, make the boy change. He started to take studying seriously and became very cooperative. At the end of the semester, he was awarded the most improved student and my daughter was recognized as the best helper.
My daughter really experienced the power of compassion, not only to rectify herself but also others.
As my daughter grew up with Falun Dafa, she viewed her troubles as tests and chances to improve herself. She followsTruthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to pass each test.
Every semester, she prepares small gifts to show her appreciation for her teachers. Sometimes she is very busy as she needs to finish her homework, organize class activities, lead classmates to read in the early morning, collect homework for teachers, and offer to help classmates after school. I can't help but wonder how an elementary school student can handle that many responsibilities at once!
The friend who worried that my daughter might become a problem growing up in a single-parent family came to visit us last year. What she saw instead was a confident, optimistic, and clever girl. She admitted, “I was wrong. It doesn't matter what kind of family the child is raised in. As long as she gets a good education, she will have a beautiful heart.” I smiled and said, “My daughter is a Falun Dafa practitioner. Falun Dafa is the best education in the world.” She couldn't agree more.
