(Minghui.org) I have experienced many ups and downs in my marriage and family life, which traumatized me mentally and physically. I became pessimistic and disappointed, and lost confidence in life. But, I was fortunate to learn Falun Dafa. It made me understand that everything that life threw my way was a result of the karmic principle of cause and effect. I am aware now that the only way to return to my true self is to cultivate in Dafa.
Looking back at my 13 years of cultivation, I’m grateful for Master Li Hongzhi’s compassion. It helped me find the path to heaven amid this bewildering world.
Struggling Through Tribulations
My ex-husband, Fong (pseudonym), had an extramarital affair, so I divorced him in 2007. I took care of our child after the divorce. My child was six and had just started first grade. I dropped him off and picked him up from school every day and helped with his homework in the evenings. My workplace was far from home, and I often worked overtime.
I got up early in the mornings to cook and take care of housework. After I dropped off my child at school, I took the bus to work. There was a 15 minute walk after the bus ride. I ran to avoid being late. I was exhausted and often felt dizzy. I was in a bad mood and was short-tempered because of my unhappy life, at home and at work.
My child often had colds, coughs, and fever, so going to the doctor and taking medication was common for him. I was often sick and took a lot of medicine. I had a severe cold and fever one time and was bedridden for three days, so my child and I barely had a meal. I was completely worn out. Laying in bed in the evenings, I thought I could die from exhaustion and not wake up the next morning. I lived far from my hometown and had no relatives nearby. No one could feel my pain or hear me cry. My hair was turning gray even though I was only in my 30s.
Falun Dafa Opened My Heart
I was fortunate to come across Falun Dafa in 2008. I wept when I read Zhuan Falun for the first time. I didn’t know why I cried. I didn’t quite understand the Fa principles and many things in Zhuan Falun, but I just wanted to read it because it made my heart feel open and bright. It was a feeling no other book, person, or even my parents could give me.
Life was difficult after the divorce. Whenever I ran into challenging moments, my heart felt calm and peaceful as soon as I read Zhuan Falun. Sometimes I’d casually turn to a page in the book, and the first thing I read would resolve my inner conflicts. The Fa principle immediately reached the deepest part of my soul and diminished the hatred and resentment that I felt.
Master said,
“Contrast that with the following view: coming to this world is like staying over at a hotel, which we quickly leave after a short stint. Yet some people are so caught up in this place that they have no interest in leaving. They have forgotten their true homes.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I understood the real purpose of being here and that I originally came from heaven. I was in a precarious situation, hanging onto the edge of a cliff. It was Dafa that saved me and gave me hope, courage, and the wish to live.
Master said,
“When one person obtains the Fa, the whole family will benefit.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Jinan,” Zhuan Falun Fajie)
My child and I regained our health. My life at home and at work improved.
Letting Go of Resentment
Fong’s financial situation took a downturn after our divorce. His company went bankrupt and he lost his job. The woman he had the affair with left him. He often borrowed money from me─he had me transfer money to his bank card and promised to repay me. Or he would take our child out to play and then ask for money, using the excuse of not having money to bring him back.
I lent him the money but he never paid me back, so I stopped giving him money and answering his phone calls. He then texted me with threats and insults, and even showed up at my house to argue, scaring me and my child. I felt distressed, and I despised and hated him. When I talked to a practitioner about it, she said, “Let go of your resentment and Master will help you. He can’t help you unless you let go of it.”
“But how do I let go? And how can I let go?” I thought.
I received a text from Fong one day when I was about to meditate. He insulted me and wanted to show up at my work. My heart was in pain, and I cried wondering when my hardships would ever end. I remembered then to “let go,” as the practitioner had suggested, and didn’t reply to his text.
I wiped away my tears and began to meditate. But I could not calm down. Anger and resentment churned in my heart, and it was so painful that my physical heart ached. I didn’t uncross my legs at the 40-minute mark because my heart was in more pain than my legs. It was hurting from so much sorrow.
Master said,
“The altercations or mistreatment that you encounter as you practice might be either of two scenarios. One is that you mistreated the other person during a past life. Perhaps the situation preys on your mind, and you can’t believe someone would treat you as they are. Well, then you shouldn’t have treated them that way in the past. You might say that you didn’t know better back then and that this lifetime has nothing to do with that one. But you can’t write it off like that.”
“Your karma needs to be reworked for you as you go about your practice. Yet for that to happen, there have to be costs involved. But take heart in knowing that whatever costs are entailed, you will be better off for it.”
“The episode happened because karma was right there at that moment and she was helping you to remove it. You didn’t go for it, however, and instead succumbed to fighting. So it wasn’t removed.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
When I first learned the five exercises, I felt a strong energy field going through my body. But, I could only meditate for 40 minutes. I couldn’t break through that limit for a long time.
I continued to recite the Fa and gradually calmed down. I broke through the 40-minute mark and sat in meditation for an hour! Was Fong helping me with my cultivation? If so, I thought I should thank him instead. I felt relieved, and my heart stopped aching.
I saw someone familiar on the street not long after. After he walked past me, I realized it was Fong! I didn’t even recognize the person I used to hate. He was gone from my mind when I no longer hated him. I chuckled and understood what Master said,
“That makes it a four-for-one deal.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Fong eventually gave up bothering me and started to look for work. When our child attended junior high school, he paid for part of the tuition. After I let go of hatred, Master took away the bad substances and helped me resolve the difficulties in life.
Awakening People Is My Responsibility
After my child went to high school and lived on campus, I had more time to read Master’s books and lectures.
Master said,
“Marriage between a man and a woman is decided upon by Gods, and that includes humankind’s form of existence and lifestyle.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
“Dafa disciples have to cultivate on the basis of the Fa and do the three things of Dafa disciples well, and only then can one walk one’s path correctly and wash oneself clean of the times when one fell short.” (“2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital”)
Master’s words touched me greatly, and I thought of my marriage. Although Fong made a mistake, he didn’t want a divorce, but I insisted on getting divorced. Does it mean that I had violated Gods’ arrangement? I was at a loss.
Fong and I must have had a predestined relationship if we were meant to be husband and wife this lifetime. Maybe he was supposed to learn Dafa through our marriage. Wouldn’t it be my fault if he could not learn about Dafa because of the divorce? I felt anxious thinking about it.
Fong had a hard time since the divorce, as he didn’t have a family or a stable job and income. It was my responsibility to find him and let him know about Dafa.
Although I knew what I had to do, I still found it hard. The resentment I used to have kept bothering me. Fong was not around when the baby was born; he was having an affair and was rarely home. It had been 10 years since the divorce, and I took care of our child, so I didn’t want to see him. I also had doubts─I didn’t know what he thought of my practicing Dafa. Would he use it as a reason to harass me at work? I dared not see him.
Master said,
“Have a bigger and bigger heart, to the point where in your personal cultivation you can forgive anyone, including your enemies.” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia)
Master taught us to put others first, and I felt ashamed for not doing that. I was caught up in the dilemma for more than a year. I didn’t do well and had let Master down. I often knelt down and cried in front of Master’s photo.
During that year, Fong was more involved in our child’s life. He brought him things and talked about preparing him for the college entrance examination. I knew it was an opportunity to tell him about Dafa, but I was still holding onto some hatred, so I let the opportunity slip.
One day before the examination, Fong wanted to bring food for our child. I went over to Fong’s place and picked up the food since our child was studying at home. I thought that it was time to tell Fong about Dafa.
I explained the malicious things that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) had done to the country and the people, and Fong was in agreement. I then talked about traditional Chinese culture and that people ought to believe in the existence of divine beings, and he concurred. When I asked if he wanted to renounce the CCP, he replied, “Yes, I do!”
Fong said he wanted to have a faith, and I suggested that he practice Falun Dafa. I told him about the practice and how I had benefited from it. He listened attentively and thanked me for taking care of our child over the years. I gave him a keepsake with information about Dafa and a few brochures. I taught him to recite, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He repeated it after me and carefully put away the things I gave him.
I came home and felt as if I had just had a dream. Everything went smoothly, as if we had waited years for this day. Master had made the arrangements and was waiting for me to carry it out. Thanks to Master’s benevolent help, I was able to let go of selfishness, explain things to Fong, and improve my xinxing.
Sharing About Dafa
Our child started college in August 2019. Fong wanted to give him a ride and invited me to go along. I brought a copy of Zhuan Falun and a video player with Dafa information.
After our child had settled down, I played “A Wonderful Book That Transformed Millions” and “The Story Of A Harvard Scholar.” Fong said he wanted to read Zhuan Falun after watching the videos.
He read the book three times, understood many things, and no longer cursed when he was displeased with others. I shared with him my cultivation experience and encouraged him to read the book often. I explained that we would not talk about anything else other than our cultivation experiences, and he concurred.
I shared about Dafa with Fong’s mother later on. She noticed that I was cheerful and healthy, completely different from before; I raised my child by myself and didn’t complain or ask them for help, and my child was attending a good college. She believed that Dafa was good, renounced the CCP and helped her deceased husband quit. Moreover, she wanted to learn the practice and read Zhuan Falun.
Telling Relatives About Dafa
Fong took our child to his hometown for Chinese New Year in January 2021 and visited his aunt and uncle. I had him take the video player and Dafa information. When he came back from the trip, he said his uncle was afraid to watch the videos. They lived far away, near the southwestern border, and Fong only went back every few years. It was a pity that they missed the videos, and I didn’t know when Fong was going to visit again.
I searched inward and realized that although Fong had read the Dafa books, he was unclear on the significance of clarifying the facts. More importantly, I failed to send forth righteous thoughts to Fong’s uncle to clean out the bad elements that blocked him. I felt guilty for missing the chance to awaken them. Had I not divorced Fong, his family would have been my family, and I had the responsibility to let them know about Dafa.
Master must have seen my wish and arranged for me to go on a business trip to Fong’s hometown. I told Fong that I wanted to visit his uncle, and he gave me instructions on how to get there. After seeing how Dafa had changed me, his uncle and aunt realized that Dafa is a good practice, and they both quit the Party.
Shen Yun Inspires Fong and His Mother
Our child was going back to school this February, and Fong planned to drop him off and visit a friend on the way. The friend’s son was studying for a PhD degree, and Fong wanted our child to talk to him. Fong asked me to go, but I had to do Dafa work. I also wanted to stay home to watch Shen Yun perform because I had missed it during the Chinese New Year.
I changed my mind later and thought maybe I should talk to his friend about Dafa. I couldn’t decide for days, so Master reminded me one day while I was meditating. I heard in my mind, “You can watch Shen Yun another day.” So Fong, his mother, our child, and I went together. I brought my laptop and thought of watching Shen Yun on it.
On our way there, I sent forth righteous thoughts for the friend and his family. We drove all day and didn’t see them until the evening. Fong spent all night catching up with the family, so I didn’t get a chance to talk to them. The friend had another engagement the next day, so we drove to our child’s school.
The school was located in a tourist city, so Fong took his mother for sightseeing. I invited them to watch Shen Yun with me the second night. At around eight in the evening, I made sure the Internet connection was good and the laptop was working. I asked Master for help and sent righteous thoughts to clean up the field around us.
Fong and his mother stared at the screen intently and were fascinated by the performance. The computer screen was small, so I stood behind them. Although I couldn’t see it clearly, I was touched by their attentiveness and got teary-eyed.
How could I not do my best when Master was offering salvation to all beings?! They were predestined to learn about Dafa and watch Shen Yun during times like this. I felt guilty for being selfish. My fears and dilemmas were so insignificant in comparison!
Fong and his mother changed after watching Shen Yun. They had a better understanding of Dafa and practitioners’ mission to awaken people. On our way home the next day, I suggested dropping by the friend’s place to tell them about Dafa. Fong and his mother both concurred. They helped me clarify the facts to the family, and all three of them renounced the CCP.
On our way home, Fong wanted to drop by another friend’s place so I could talk to them about Dafa and the persecution.
I remembered Shen Yun’s first song, “Do Not Fail.” The last two sentences were, “Do not fail, for you need to save the beings in your heavenly world.” In this degenerate world, Master showed us the principles of the cosmos, forbore our karma, purified us, and led us on the path to our real home.
We are at a junction where the old universe is transitioning into the new universe, and I must seize the moment to cultivate diligently and assist Master with Fa-rectification. I will not let Master down, and I will not fail.
Thank you, Master!
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