(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in March 1999. Initially I only had a shallow understanding of the Fa, but inflated self-esteem. I once told a fellow practitioner that I wasn’t very attached to jealousy or personal interests.
When the persecution of Falun Gong intensified, I was demoted from being the principal of my school and was made the vice principal. My heart was very heavy with both joy and worry during that time. The joy was that I no longer had a position to protect, so my heart calmed down. But I also worried that others would look down on me because I'd lost the power that came with being the principal.
The new principal was recently promoted. In my opinion he was junior to me, incapable, and too hesitant to make decisions. It was like Master described.
Master said,
“Nevertheless, there may be another person in the same working group or sharing the same office with him who is quite incapable of doing anything or is good for nothing. Yet one day this incompetent person gets a promotion instead of him and even becomes his supervisor. He will feel in his heart that it is unfair and complain to his boss and coworkers, feeling very upset and quite jealous.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
But I didn’t realize I was jealous back then. I often pushed my opinions at work and rarely took the initiative to cooperate with the new principal. Sometimes I was happy to see him fail.
This situation lasted a long time. I knew it was not right for a cultivator to think this way and I felt tired and heavy in my heart. As a practitioner I knew I should not compete with others or be attached to fame and gain, but I couldn’t overcome these attachments.
One day when I was reading Zhuan Falun in the office, a sentence suddenly began to flash a silvery white color into my eyes. “...for mutual disrespect and not eliminating the attachment to competition can both easily lead to jealousy.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that my problems were rooted in jealousy – from the feeling of being unconvinced and uncooperative, to combative. Based on this enlightenment, I made up my mind to eliminate the attachment of jealousy. I thought, “Jealousy, you are not me. My nature is kind and benefits others. I ought to be happy for other people’s achievements. Being the school principal isn’t an easy job, so I should support and cooperate with him.”
My attitude has changed since then. I became humble, took the initiative to offer my suggestions when I saw places where the new principal could improve, and became responsible to my job. This led to a change in our work environment and in his attitude, too.
We developed a harmonious work relationship. Later, I had an opportunity to clarify the truth to him and he later quit the Chinese Communist Party. From then on, he never said a bad word against Falun Gong in any meetings and ignored the orders (to criticize Falun Gong) from higher above.
Looking back, I understood that my jealousy led to my uncooperative attitude and if this attitude had continued, it would give the new principal a bad impression of Falun Dafa practitioners. It might cause him to hold a negative attitude to Dafa, preventing him from being saved.
Master said,
“Today I am telling practitioners that you should not keep yourselves in the dark without being enlightened to it. The goal that you intend to achieve is to practice cultivation toward high levels. The attachment of jealousy must be relinquished.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Through more Fa study, I realized that my heightened sense of self-esteem hid my ignorance. Everyone has jealousy. It may not be apparent when one’s personal interests are not hit upon. But the root is always jealousy whether one appears combative or insists on proving that other people are wrong.
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Category: Improving Oneself
