(Minghui.org) I am in my 40s and have been introverted since childhood. When I was young, I obeyed my parents, and I obeyed my husband after we married. But even so, I walked firmly on the path of practicing Falun Dafa (aka Falun Gong). After experiencing many ups and downs, I am still determined to cultivate.
My Miserable Childhood
My parents did not believe in spiritual things, but I was different. I had been curious about gods and Buddhas since I was a child and was yearning for a cultivation practice. My friends and I shared our thoughts about our future. Some said they wanted to be scientists, writers and such, but I dreamed of becoming a nun and living in an ancient temple.
When I entered school, my parents were afraid that I would be picked on, and often told me how to be “smart” and avoid being bullied. But I didn't like hearing that, and even asked them why they taught me bad stuff. Because my personality was different from my parents, my mother disliked me. She was very irritable because of her hard life and often beat and scolded me. Sometimes, she even drove me out of the house after dark.
My father told me that there was nothing he could do to prevent my mother from beating and scolding me, because he could live without me but he couldn't live without her.
My heart was full of sadness, and I became more introverted and felt inferior. I was also in poor health. I would uncontrollably urinate in my pants in school and sometimes would temporarily lose consciousness. My ability to learn got worse, my mind was dull, and my memory deteriorated. The teacher's lessons seemed unable to enter my mind. The doctor said that I had epilepsy and would probably end up with dementia.
Obtaining Dafa with Joy
I went to a technical college after graduating from high school, which was quite far away from home. I met a classmate there who was a Falun Dafa practitioner, and she introduced me to cultivation. I read Zhuan Falun and felt that it was what I wanted.
The book answered many questions about life that I couldn’t answer. I saw Falun (law wheels) spinning and two bright white beams that went from the top of my head to my feet when I woke up the next morning. At the same time, I was also cleared of the possessing entity from my body, which I believe was a snake. Since then, the diseases that had troubled me for many years disappeared, and I regained health and happiness.
My classmate and I went to an elderly practitioner's home near our school every day to study the Fa and do the exercises. Those were the happiest times. The practitioners were kind, gentle, and courteous. The elderly practitioner thought life was not easy for us being away from home, and often made good food for us. She saw that my shoes were broken and bought me a new pair. The other practitioners cared about us, and I felt a warmth that I had never felt before. Falun Gong is really a pure land!
Master Li Hongzhi said:
“...your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
In 1999, Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leader, launched the persecution of Falun Gong and demonized Dafa practitioners. From my personal experience, I told others that Dafa practitioners are the best people in the world.
Respecting My Parents
Master Li said, “Due to karma resulting from past wrongdoing, one has illnesses or tribulations...” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
After understanding this, I became at peace and tolerant of others. I realized that my mother's life was not easy, as my father had to work away from home. She had to take care of my sister and me on her own and also do the farm work. It must have been very stressful, so she developed a bad temper.
After I got a job and before I got married, I gave all my wages to my mother. After I got married, I had three children. Due to the high expense of maintaining a family, my financial situation has not been very good. However, I often visit my mother and buy her nice food. I didn't spend any money on myself and gave it all to my husband, children, and parents so they could live better lives.
It wasn't easy for my in-laws when I got married, so I never asked for a dowry from them, nor did I ask for one from my mother. My wedding was very simple.
After I got married, my parents gave the tobacco and liquor store they had been running to my sister, which didn't bother me. I was very calm, because after several years of cultivation, Falun Gong transformed me into a person who thinks about others first. I thought, “Wouldn't it be great if this can make my sister's life better?”
Being Considerate of My Husband
Since I didn't have a dowry, and my parents gave the family store to my sister, my life was difficult, and my husband often beat and scolded me. He originally thought that since my parents owned a tobacco and liquor store, my family would be rich. But he later found out that wasn't the case, so he took out his anger on me.
I wasn't so much his wife than his housemaid. No matter whether it was during my pregnancy or when I wasn't feeling well, he didn't do any housework, and I had to take care of him as much as I could. He was quite violent and always in a bad mood. He often drank and would curse me when he came home late. I lived in constant fear.
Seeing other pregnant women enjoying the meticulous care of their families and husbands, I thought that was a wonderful thing. But from the Fa, I knew that to endure hardship was to pay off one’s karmic debts. I accepted life's arrangements and maintained an optimistic mood.
With the birth of my first child, my water broke at about 10 p.m., but my husband waited until the next morning, after he had enough sleep to take me to the hospital. The doctor checked the amniotic fluid index and noticed it had reached the lowest safe level. The doctor said that it could have been very dangerous for both mother and child. The miraculous thing was that the amniotic fluid stopped leaking when it reached the lowest safe level. I knew this was Master protecting me, otherwise the consequence would be unimaginable.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I had a miscarriage and started bleeding one night. My husband told me to endure it until morning. I told him that I really didn’t feel good anymore. After repeated requests, only then did he take me to the hospital.
My husband is very stubborn, and I always went along with him. However, he is not lucky. We run a retail store together, and when we had a bit of money he would invest it. But they were always bad investments, so our finances were never good.
I felt terrible for a long time and wanted to break up with him. Every time I told him, he became very angry and even threatened to smash up the store if I left.
I later realized that I was wrong. Master asks us to consider others first, but I didn't. I felt guilty. My husband has worked hard to try to make our financial situation better. Even though he didn't improve our income, his intention was good.
Master said:
“...a cultivator should follow the course of nature. If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
What I experience in this life reflects the virtue and karma accrued from my past lives. The suffering is caused by karma.
Through studying the Fa, I was able to pass this test and no longer resented my husband. I did not complain about the wrong investments he made. I comforted him and told him that everything would get better.
I just do what I should do, take care of his life, treat him kindly, and help him. No matter how he scolded me at the store, I never fought back. When he got tired of scolding me, he would naturally stop. Others would say: “You have a good temper. If my husband was like that, I would definitely not be able to take it.”
I started to play New Tang Dynasty TV programs for my husband, gave him practitioners' experience sharing articles to read, and told him about traditional culture.
When he was feeling down, I would comfort him, saying: “Although we don't have a lot of money, we don't lack food and clothing for our three children. Our life is still okay. Don't worry about the lost money anymore. Everyone has this or that tribulation. Just relax. However much money we lost, the same amount of karma was eliminated for us.”
Dafa taught me to be good to others and only look at their good side. In fact, apart from his bad temper, he is really a good person. Although he would throw things around when he was angry, he never touched my Dafa books. Even when the CCP threatened him, he didn't hand them over.
I study the Fa and do the exercises, and he has never interfered with me. When I was taken to the police station, he tried every means possible to rescue me and was able to leave the police station the same day. He knows that Falun Dafa is good, and he quit the CCP's affiliated organizations.
My husband was able to do that during the persecution, which is the most amazing and precious thing for a person. Although he doesn't say it, he recognizes me and Dafa in his heart.
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