(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2011 and I’m now in my early 30s. My health was not great when I was a child and I often had to go to the hospital for intravenous infusions. As a result, I only went to kindergarten for a few months. I stayed home until fourth grade. I had few interactions with people my age and I became very introverted.
Mom and I Began to Practice Falun Dafa
My mom remarried after my parents divorced, but her second marriage was difficult as well. She became depressed and her health rapidly declined. She had several illnesses and did not get any better after lots of medical treatments. A practitioner suggested she try Falun Dafa and she learned the exercises. All her illnesses were resolved within one month, and I knew that Falun Dafa was very special.
I was in high school at that time and lived in the school dorm. Even though I did not immediately start to practice Falun Dafa, I understood that Dafa was the true path. I often went out with my mom and helped her when she put up self-adhesive posters about Dafa. Although I didn’t truly know the importance of what we were doing, I knew it was the right thing to do. I had no sense of fear at that time.
My health was still bad after I went to college. I had to get intravenous infusions twice in my first semester—each time I was hospitalized for several days. I also continued to have my usual issues with insomnia and diarrhea. I had a dream the last day of my freshman year: Several of my friends and I tried to do something but I was the only one who succeeded. I knew that I was about to leave, so I said goodbye to my friends. A huge hole suddenly opened in the sky, and from the opening came divine beings. They played heavenly music to welcome me. I knew I was about to leave so I picked out a cloud and gave it to my friends as a gift. I raised my head and went through the opening. Then I woke up.
After I had this dream I realized that it was time for me to really practice and I was determined to become a true Dafa practitioner. When I went home that summer, I studied the Fa and did the exercises with my mom. It was not easy in the beginning—every time I did the exercises, I sweat heavily. My health dramatically improved and by the end of summer, all my illnesses were gone.
Cultivating Myself and Getting Through Tribulations
When I returned to college I wasn’t able to study the Fa or do exercises every day since I lived in a dormitory. After I graduated, I thought that since I started practicing late, I must quickly catch up. I decided to memorize one page of Zhuan Falun every day after studying the Fa. This was very difficult at first. It took me a long time to memorize each sentence and I often became sleepy. But I stuck to it and was able to finish it. The second time was a bit faster but it still took me almost a year. Even though my progress was slow, I found that I changed a lot after memorizing Zhuan Falun. Thinking back, I am so glad that I was able to stick with it.
Doing the exercises was another major obstacle. They were very painful at first. But in order to cultivate, I clenched my teeth and persisted. In the beginning I could only put both legs up in the full lotus position for 10 seconds. I gradually increased the time, until I was able to sit for an entire hour. Sometimes it was so painful that I would moan out loud, but I managed to get through it.
When I graduated, my classmate invited me to work in Beijing, and the salary would be three times my current salary. The work would have much more potential for me to grow as well. But I was concerned that I would lose my cultivation environment and I may not be able to discipline myself. In the end I found a job near my home.
Several friends and family members introduced me to potential spouses, but I did not consider getting married with an ordinary person, due to the difference in beliefs. I felt I needed to focus on cultivation. I also gradually felt that I had less and less in common with ordinary people.
One fellow practitioner offered to help me move outside China, but I politely declined. I feel that China is where I’m supposed to be and I want to stay on this front line to save sentient beings. I enjoy going with fellow practitioners to the farmlands to clarify the facts, and going everywhere to distribute materials and posters. I think that one more Dafa disciple in China means another force for good here.
Eliminating Attachments at Work
There are many conflicts in my work place and some are very intense. Because of my position I’m usually in the middle of these conflicts. My job in the office is very versatile and I’m responsible for all sorts of things. Everyone comes to me to resolve their issues, including technical, financial, manpower, administrative, and IT issues. The grass root level employees often throw their conflicts at me when they are unhappy. On the other end, the management level often pressures me, criticizes me, and even penalizes me by deducting my salary. I rarely get help from anyone and I often need to work overtime, while other people work normal hours.
I have built many systems by myself for the company. For instance, by working late at night I established the company’s human resource system—but I never got any credit for my efforts. Because others do less work they make fewer mistakes, so they don’t get criticized. Because I do a lot more, I have more places to make mistakes, so I’m often held responsible. At first, I felt this was very unfair. I felt other people caused the issues but it all ended up being my mistake; or when the management didn’t understand what happened, they would throw the issues at me. My attachments of resentment, anger, selfishness, jealousy, and wanting revenge, were all exposed.
Master said,
“Precisely because that person created this conflict for you, there is this opportunity to improve xinxing. If you can make use of it to improve your own xinxing, won’t this xinxing of yours be raised in this way? You have gained in three ways. You are a practitioner, so as your xinxing improves, won’t your gong also increase? You have gained four ways in one shot. Why shouldn’t you thank that person? You should sincerely thank him from the bottom of your heart—it is actually so.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
As I studied the Fa more and cultivated my xinxing, I gradually began to let go of these attachments. I was able to take the conflicts much more lightly. Some things that are said to me would have really angered me in the past, but now I can calmly face them with a smile on my face. Even when I get penalized with a pay cut (which really upset me before) I can now smile about it and move on.
Once, we had a heavy rain and the area surrounding the office was flooded. The standing water was above knee-level. While I was struggling through the water to get to work, I saw a co-worker riding a bike past me. I was mad because it was my new bike that he borrowed from me. It was an expensive bike, and cost half of my monthly salary. I bought it to go out and clarify the facts. But he just rode it in high water like that! When he returned the bike to me the chain was all rusty.
I looked within as I walked through the water, and I told myself repeatedly that I needed to let go of my attachments. When I got to the company building, I was finally able to put them down. I sat on the stairs to squeeze the water out of my pants. Suddenly, a hole appeared in the overcast sky and golden sunlight illuminated the area around me. I knew it was Master’s encouragement and I understood that I must cultivate myself no matter what I encountered.
Going Out to Validate the Fa and Clarify the Facts
When I First Began to Cultivate
I helped my mom make truth-clarification materials, Shen Yun DVDs, and posters. We then went out to put up the posters and display boards. We gave the materials to fellow practitioners to be delivered. I felt my life was very full. I felt so happy because I felt that we were doing the most meaningful things that were beneficial for others.
I also made automatic phone calls with truth-clarification messages. I felt that when people received these phone calls, or when they saw the posters we put up, they would have some basic understandings about the persecution and CCP’s (Chinese Communist Party) lies. Even if they didn’t quit the CCP right away, it laid a foundation for them to be saved in the future.
My mom and I also went out to clarify the facts with veteran fellow practitioners. At first, we would just stay behind them, send forth righteous thoughts and help them to write down names. Then, we decided to go out by ourselves and directly talk with people. Master really encouraged us, and the first several people we talked to all agreed to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. This gave us a lot of confidence.
Despite Persecution We Continue to Save People
After we began to clarify the facts face-to-face, things went very smoothly. We became complacent. Once, several of us were clarifying the facts in a construction site, and we continued to talk with one person to help him quit the CCP. We didn’t realize that the site’s security guard had reported us. The police arrived and took us to a police station. We reminded each other that we would not expose other practitioners.
When the police officers took blood samples from us I resisted. When they told us to write statements to plead guilty I wrote “Dafa is innocent. Dafa disciples are not criminals.” It was raining very heavily that day and I felt that divine beings were crying for us. My mom and I were put in a detention center along with criminals such as drug dealers and gangsters. We were tortured and forced to work. When I saw my thin-framed mom doing labor work in the hallway, I felt so sad. I was determined not to give up and I used every opportunity to clarify the facts to everyone there.
At first, the criminals inmates bullied me and tried to scare me. They refused to listen when I talked to them about the persecution. I saw a picture on the wall about one of China’s famous historical figures Zeng Zi. I told them the story of how Zeng Zi’s mom only believed it when three different people separately told her that her son had killed someone. I told them that was how the CCP told lies to the people about Falun Dafa, but that their lies would be exposed one day. Afterwards, they gradually began to talk with me and listen to what I said.
I also looked inside and reflected on my attachments. I found many attachments and I knew that without them, the evil factors would not be able to take advantage of me. I had a dream the night before I was released: we were on a ship in the ocean and encountered a big storm. After much struggle, we were able to reach the shore. One person sitting on the shore told me, “It is almost over. The reason that it hasn’t ended is that there were too many people who don’t know the facts.” I then heard Master’s poem,
“Carrying the Cosmos, boat broken and torn,At last! I pull into shore—a dream of ten thousand years.” (“Suffering to Save,” Hong Yin)
When I woke up I burst into tears.
When I returned home, my company informed me that I had been fired. My father is not a Falun Dafa practitioner. My relative told me that he was terrified by my incarceration and cried very hard. After I rested for a few days, I decided that I must still go out to clarify the facts. Our printer was taken away, so we hand-wrote posters and went out to post them. Gradually, we re-gained our righteous thoughts.
Later on, I left my hometown and had several jobs, but none of them was ideal for me. Either it didn’t fit me, or it took all my time. I finally found a job that allowed me to have more time, but I was fired for clarifying the facts to a customer. I soon found a satisfactory job and I still work there.
As my work situation became stable, my mom and I began to make printed versions of The Ultimate Goal of Communism. Looking at the piles of the books I was so happy! I felt like I returned to my original cultivation state. We went out to distribute these books along with other materials.
Going Out to Clarify the Facts
Because the city we live in is large, we felt that it was too slow to walk around and clarify the facts, so we bought electric bikes. We’ve had a lot of experiences and become more mature. Throughout the years I’ve clarified the facts face-to-face, I’ve had many amazing experiences. I felt that Master was always by our side, watching over us and protecting us. Thank you, Master!
These last two years we began going to other cities and surrounding rural areas to clarify the facts. We don’t usually bring a lot of materials and we rely mostly on talking to people. We always watch for security cameras and the people around us, because nowadays there are a lot of plainclothes police and other security personnel. Whenever possible, we stay on small roads and avoid the major roads.
Recommended by a fellow practitioner, we bought an electric tricycle that could go a lot farther, so we could cover more areas. I still prefer to clarify the facts inside the city, because I feel that the city is where the evil factors are concentrated. I feel clarifying the facts here is directly eliminating these evil factors.
My Changes and Understandings from Cultivation
I have experienced a lot and changed a lot in these nine years. I used to be unhealthy, had many illnesses and all kinds of ordinary people’s thoughts. But now I’m finally walking on the cultivation path. Many of my attachments have been eliminated or have gotten much weaker. I’m also gradually able to let go of my most stubborn attachments.
I used to be addicted to web browsing, playing games, watching TV, reading cartoons, novels, the news, and so on. I’ve been trying to eliminate these attachments and I’ve gone through some painful cycles. Each time I was able to step away from these things for a while, but then couldn’t help but going back to my old habits. I always felt very painful regret. I just didn’t know why it was so hard to get rid of these attachments! There are no shortcuts in cultivation. These stubborn attachments were formed over many years since I was a child, so they required a lot of effort to eliminate.
This society entices young people with so many things—this makes cultivation a long, complicated process. Through constant Fa study and cultivating my xinxing, I now seldom watch TV. Last year, I began to read fewer novels and this year I no longer read any novels. Instead of seeking entertainment, I know I must use the limited time to cultivate myself and save more sentient beings.
When I first began working, I could not take it when I felt mistreated or wronged. I hated the people who hurt me. I had resentment, jealousy, selfishness, self-protection, and many other attachments of fame, gain, and sentimentality. I felt that others were bullying me. Now thinking back, these experiences were all for my cultivation.
Master said,
“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong
As a cultivatorOne always looks for one’s own faults’Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?” (Hong Yin III)
Whenever there’s a conflict, isn’t it a great chance for me to improve? I really regret that I wasn’t able to fully use every opportunity to cultivate myself and look inside.
In nine years of cultivation, I have gone through many tribulations. But no matter what happened, I always remember my vow. No matter how bad the storm is, I’ll continue to move forward and do things as a Dafa practitioner. I tell myself, it doesn’t matter how much I’ve done in the past, how many attachments I eliminated, how many opportunities I missed, or how much time I wasted. I cannot focus on the past.
The light is right in front of us. In order to not let down Master’s compassionate salvation, not let down the hopes of the beings in my heavenly world, not let down the sentient beings who are eagerly waiting to be saved, and not let down myself and all my efforts through lifetime after lifetime, I must be as diligent as I was at the very beginning of my cultivation. I’ll treasure the time we have left, treasure every cultivation opportunity, fulfill my mission, assimilate to Dafa, and wait for the day that I’ll return home with Master!
Since my level is limited, if anything is inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
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