(Minghui.org) I started cultivating with my mother in 2002. From a young age, I would pay respect to the Buddha statues I happened to come across. I attended a kindergarten associated with a Buddhist temple. My mother believed in divine beings, but before she obtained the Fa she never really had any specific beliefs. She sometimes lacked a sense of direction and occasionally went to fortunetellers to try to solve her problems.
Our family went through a drastic change after obtaining the Fa. Our house had been very dark inside, because of a black painting that a fortuneteller gave us. After taking the black painting down and replacing it with Master’s portrait, our whole house seemed to instantly become brighter. Both my mother and I experienced this change at the same time and we asked each other, “Did our house become brighter?” Seeing this miracle from Dafa, both of us felt a sense of belonging.
Since I had obtained the Fa at a young age, I sometimes took Dafa for granted and I even regarded it as unimportant at times. I felt that Master would be more compassionate and lenient towards children, so I could be naughty. I did not feel a need to be diligent. This was how I understood things before I truly enlightened to what Dafa is.
I only knew Dafa was good, but I never really understood the true meaning of cultivation. Adults often started cultivating for certain reasons. In my case, I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises because my mother told me to. I thought it was something interesting initially and was willing to learn, but as time passed, I started to think cultivation was very tiring, and it was arduous to wake up early to study Zhuan Falun for an hour. I started to feel pressured and developed negative feelings about cultivation after seeing my mother’s solemn attitude, or when she told me I would be left behind crying when everyone else consummates.
Even with these feelings of rejection, Master was still very compassionate to me. If I hadn’t cultivated, I would have seen many negative things in other dimensions. I don’t want to go into more detail, but I will say that at the beginning of my cultivation, I saw demons trying to scare me, and I was scared of cultivating Dafa.
These thoughts slowly disappeared when I gradually came to understand Dafa. With enlightenment from Dafa and guided by my mother, my childhood was immersed in Dafa. We clarified the truth in many ways--in person at tourist sites and by mailing letters, making phone calls, and sending text messages. I thought it was fun at the time, but looking back now, I am grateful to my mother for bringing me along and being part of this process. Sadly, I was still not diligent enough, even under my mother’s supervision. I wanted to cultivate “later,” since I thought there was still time left, and I blindly thought I knew the Fa very well.
I made it through my childhood years with several tribulations, but Master was always protecting me. It was not until the end of April 2019 that we encountered a tremendous tribulation. Through this tribulation, I witnessed miracles and gained a new understanding of Dafa.
Looking Inward During My Mother’s Sickness Karma Tribulation
A lump started to grow on my mother’s neck and she lost a lot of weight. We kept studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and looking inward.
During that time, I had miraculous dreams three nights in a row that all eventually came true!
The first night I dreamed that our front yard was flooded, and I used a pipe to unclog the water. I was about to step out of the house when I saw a vast ocean with ice floating on the surface, and the ice connected to the road in front of our house. I did not understand the meaning of this dream at the time.
The second night, I dreamed about telling lives in other dimensions not to persecute my mother. But they grabbed me by my shoulder and said, “Do you study the Fa? Do you practice the exercises? Are you even cultivating?” I replied, “ I will study the Fa, I will practice the exercises, and I will cultivate!” The next afternoon, when I was sending righteous thoughts, I saw myself slowly scraping black substances from my mother’s lump with a silver spoon.
The third morning, just as I was about to wake up, I felt someone push me very hard and then say in a serious tone: “This is your responsibility!” I opened my eyes and saw that it was 5:55 a.m., time to send forth righteous thoughts.
I still lacked a good understanding of the importance of sending righteous thoughts at that time. Meanwhile, I witnessed the lump on my mother’s neck grow bigger, and it started to develop pus. My mother also had a fever.
My mother was hospitalized on May 13. Throughout this process, the content of Dafa kept appearing in my mind. One part of my mind believed the principles of Dafa, but another part of me was unsure how to deal with the circumstances. I was very conflicted, and thinking back now about how helpless I felt at that time still pains me.
I had one important thought during this time and that was to completely deny the arrangements of the old forces with strong righteous thoughts.
When the doctors were operating on my mother, I thought to myself, “Everything is going to be okay! This is an old forces’ arrangement, my mother is a Dafa disciple, and she has a prehistoric vow to save sentient beings.” I was in the hospital with her for a month. During this time, I realized that Dafa was deeply embedded in my heart and I firmly believed in Dafa.
My mother continued to study the Fa and do the exercises while undergoing debridement and skin grafts. With a strong mind, my mother was able to eliminate her karma and endure this big tribulation. Studying the Fa and reading articles from the Minghui website also strengthened our righteous thoughts. We realized the importance of the Minghui website, because it is a cultivation platform for overseas and mainland Chinese practitioners. The Minghui website is like a stream of pure water that cleanses our doubts. We made a breakthrough by sending righteous thoughts for an hour. After experiencing the true meaning of sending forth righteous thoughts, our dimensional fields became very pure. We became very calm, pure, and at ease.
While overcoming this tribulation, Dafa revealed many miracles to us. For example, usually after a patient has had anesthesia, she might have vomiting, weakness, and loss of appetite after regaining consciousness. But when my mother woke up after surgery, she was able to eat normally, was in good spirits, and recovered with lightning speed. The doctors were surprised. In the meantime, I looked inward and awakened to many things. I also realized that life is precious and cultivation is extraordinary. Most importantly, I enlightened to the power of working together as one body of Falun Dafa practitioners.
During our tribulation, many practitioners tried to point out our shortcomings to help us. In my opinion, they should not have tried to help us by telling us to look inward. Instead, they should help practitioners get free from the deadly grip of the old forces. Regardless of whether we have done well or not, the old forces should not use this as justification to persecute us. Practitioners only recognize Master’s arrangements—no others. If we do not support each other with righteous thoughts, that is the same as pushing someone away and saying to the old forces, “She did not do well in this respect, so she should be persecuted.” I really deeply understand this now and do not want to go into more detail. I really just want to thank fellow practitioners for the support of their righteous thoughts during that time.
I went through a great change and was able to feel Master’s protection and care. After surgery, my mom was transferred back to her room. Both of us were tired, so I closed my eyes to rest for a bit. Just as I closed my eyes, I saw Master’s Fashen (law body) in a yellow kasaya meditating in front of my mother. I was shocked and startled. After recovering from my surprise, I told my mother what I had seen. A few moments later, my mother started to feel very warm and was in good spirits while she studied Zhuan Falun all night long. After that, she was on the path to a speedy recovery!
When we reached home after my mother was discharged from hospital, I saw the scenario from my first dream. Instead of flooding, rainwater had accumulated in our front yard. The ice cubes in my dream were actually a path that had been partially submerged underwater. I enlightened to the fact that this tribulation was like rough seas and Master had shown me a path to return home. I was speechless at that moment, and after settling down at home, I burst into tears in front of Master’s portrait. I was reflecting deeply upon “What is cultivation? Why do I have to cultivate? What is the true meaning of cultivation?” I had only just started on the path of cultivation after truly understanding what Dafa is.
I’ve found some reasons why I think this tribulation was so large. In 2018, I rescued a white kitten. Since I was an only child, I relied on this kitten as my playmate and developed special feelings toward it. I knew Dafa practitioners shouldn’t raise animals, but I was still unable to part with the kitten. I managed to persuade my mother to keep it, and I took care of it really well. I even wanted it to be a pet star on the internet.
My relative also picked out a white kitten, and my kitten and her kitten became playmates. The kittens were adorable, but it made our cultivation environment impure. I constantly worried about the kittens when I wasn't at home and avoided studying the Fa or practicing the exercises around them.
After my mother and I went to the doctor’s for a checkup, the doctor told us that this lump was from a bacteria only found in human intestines and would rarely appear on one’s neck. The doctor also said that animals’ feces carried this kind of bacteria. When we looked inward, we realized that this had something to do with the kittens. It is normal for ordinary people to have pets, but as cultivators, we shouldn’t raise or kill pets.
In my dream, the sentence “This is your responsibility” was referring to how I had neglected the importance of sending righteous thoughts. I was taken advantage of by the evil and hence was asked, “Are you even cultivating?” in my third dream.
Master said,
“Moreover, tribulations can accumulate. If you accumulate more of them, how will you overcome them?” (Teachings at the Conference in Singapore)
I had taken Dafa for granted and had thought that if my mother studied the Fa, Master would protect her. I did not realize the importance of my own cultivation and neglected purifying my body in other dimensions. In addition, I also relied on my mother heavily. This tribulation truly awakened me!
It has been a year since the start of this tribulation. I sometimes still “forget about the pain once the scar is healed.” When the parts of me that have not been cultivated yet surface, I tend to be idle about cultivating them away. However, that is how cultivation is, and the parts of us that have been cultivated successfully are separated and we continue to cultivate the uncultivated parts.
My mother and I each have our own Dafa projects and save sentient beings. The only difference from before is that we have both gained a deeper understanding of Dafa. Especially during this pandemic, I’ve truly come to understand the preciousness of being able to cultivate in Dafa.
After practicing Dafa for 18 years, with this kind of stick warning, I truly came to my senses. I am truly ashamed for not having done better, and I still have many shortcomings.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate protection!
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