(Minghui.org) A few days ago my job was changed, and my most fundamental attachment got touched upon. I was very upset, as this hard substance kept sending out bad thoughts. I didn’t know how to get rid of this substance, this being.
I couldn’t continue reciting the Fa, and instead I kept memorizing one sentence of Master’s Fa,
“He’s right,And I’m wrong.”(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,”Hong Yin III)
But I felt like I couldn’t get past that attachment. In desperation, I found the Milarepa Buddha’s cultivation story on Minghui radio, and listened from beginning to end. I had read this story twice during the first few months after obtaining the Fa. I didn’t know some of the words, and didn’t understand all of it. All I knew was that he had to endure hardships during his cultivation. This inspired me in pursuing Buddhism. It has been more than 20 years since then.
Today, I listened to it from the beginning, understood the cultivation method from that time, and it helped me understand the culture that paved the road for today’s Fa-rectification. It helped me understand the immeasurable boundless grace of the Creator who came down to awaken the conscience of sentient beings, generation after generation, in all dimensions.
In the end, Milarepa Buddha swallowed the poison he was given to save an extremely wicked man, and took on his huge karma, so that man could truly and sincerely repent.
That process reminded me of myself. Today I am a being created by Dafa. Why can’t I cultivate this kind of compassion? Everything is contained in the Fa. What am I missing? I thus looked within myself to find the root cause of this attachment.
I then listened to fellow practitioners’ reading the Fa, and the following words hit my heart all at once. Master said,
“You must cultivate your mind—work hard on your own mind—and find your own weaknesses and shortcomings and then eradicate them.” (Teachings at the Conference in Singapore)
I asked myself, “What is my weakest point?” I don’t like to contact people, and lack social skills. I like to be alone. Why? Because I don’t understand what others say, I haven’t read many books. I don’t understand life, I don’t understand their work, so I don’t dare to speak up in a crowd. I was also afraid of being ridiculed and getting hurt, so I worked hard in my study.
Along the way, I learned a lot, but I gave up everything halfway... Either I wanted to give up, or the environment made me give up. The strong attachment is still with me. I was very diligent when I studied for a Dafa project. I am willing to put in the extra effort and endure hardships. As long as I am asked to learn, I can do anything. No matter how difficult, I can study anything, because I have this strong attachment to satisfy myself.
However, today I was told not to touch those things on the computer. The rest were just chores, such as getting water, getting mail, etc. So I was angry! Envy and hatred all came up. I was not willing to get water or do chores.
I clearly know that human rationality and divine principles are opposites. Nonetheless I felt that rationality was so difficult for me to achieve! I was distressed for two or three days and couldn’t get past the test.
This fundamental attachment can’t be satisfied, so I lost my interest in doing anything.
Today this fundamental attachment was touched upon again, and I started to think about it. Do I still pursue fame among people, or do I want to stay among people as an individual? I still worried that there would be no guarantee of life without skills. Anyone can do work like getting water and fetching mail. So I didn’t truly believe in the Fa. I didn’t truly believe that Master’s arrangement is the best. I didn’t believe that Master arranges everything for me. At its root, the question was whether I believed in Master and the Fa.
After understanding this, I began to recite the Fa. I have recited the “Thoughts and the Mind” section of Zhuan Falun – The Ninth Talk – for about two months. I got stuck and could not continue, as I became blocked by this fundamental attachment.
It took me two days to get over it. Because I understood the principles of the Fa, and I knew what I was going to give up.
I felt relaxed as never before. I took a deep breath and shouted from the bottom of my heart: “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
At the human level, I did chores like getting water. People took the initiative to push the cart for me. I knew that they trusted me to awaken their conscience. I gave them brochures, and paper lotus flowers. They kept saying thank you!
When I got water and came back, the security guard ran over to open the door for me. Before he had just sat there. I thought if you follow the path of cultivation, everyone respects you, no matter what position you are in and what you do. I was afraid of conflicts in the past, and I spoke cautiously at work. I practiced apathetically, pursued materialistic things, I felt really tired. Is Fa-rectification so tiresome? Because my attachments were holding me back.
I now feel that every cell within my body is sending out energy. What do conflicts count for? All are caused by karma. To eliminate them, I understand the connotation of Master’s Fa:
“...a great way is extremely simple and easy.” (“The Features of Falun Dafa,” The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
Master said,
“And at even higher levels, concepts like eliminating karma, enduring hardships, and cultivation no longer exist, and it’s just a choice! This is the principle at high levels of the cosmos: You think someone is good enough, so you choose him—that’s the principle.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
I now understand some connotations of choice. In retrospect this experience opened my eyes. I am now a Dafa disciple, all gods are jealous, and I am the hope of sentient beings. What else can I ask for?
I feel that Master pushed me forward very quickly, which allowed me to keep up with the process of Fa-rectification, and my cultivation state seemed to have shifted from personal cultivation to that of the Fa-rectification.
After getting off work that day, I wanted to visit fellow practitioners who were experiencing tribulations. I used to do exercise two for two hours after work to relieve fatigue. I decided to skip it today, as I wanted to study the Fa with fellow practitioners. I called two fellow practitioners on my way home. When I was studying the Fa with them and sending righteous thoughts with practitioners, I felt that we were one body. I felt highly self-respected when sending righteous thoughts, as though my thoughts could split a mountain. I haven’t had this feeling for a long time. I could hardly send out the righteous thoughts during the general election, and I was severely interfered with. Even sitting there, I could not calm down and had wild thoughts that I failed to suppress or eliminate.
However, when I thought about helping the fellow practitioner today, everything around me changed. Because I jumped out of my personal practice and melted into the torrent of Fa-rectification, I felt the grandeur of the Buddha Law’s divine power. I felt baptized and purified in Fa-rectification.
I finally understood what Master said,
“But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. II)
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Category: Improving Oneself
