(Minghui.org) Shortly after our daughter Ya was born, my husband moved to another town for work. He only came back for a few days during holidays. Such a life lasted for ten years. When Ya was eleven, he divorced me. As a single mother, the responsibility to raise and guide her fell solely on my shoulders.
My initial understanding of how to teach and guide children was only from parenting books and I found the reality to be a totally different story, and I experienced feeling lost, overwhelmed, anxious, or even panicked. Gradually, I came to see that children were like mirrors of their parents. It is difficult for a parent with a gloomy and dark heart to raise sunny children. And it is also difficult for parents who crave fame and fortune to turn out children who are tolerant and open-minded. I am grateful to Falun Dafa for showing me the way to educate my child and raise her well.
For Self vs. For Others
When Ya was in elementary school, she asked me one day: “Mom, can you buy a pot of flowers for my class?”
“Why? What for?”
“My teacher said that at the end of the school year, she will praise those who have contributed to the class.”
I said to her, “If you are doing it to get praise from the teacher, then I can't buy it for you. If you are doing it for your classmates to have a beautiful environment, I will buy it for you.”
She blinked her big eyes, not sure what to say.
“If you do something for the sake of getting praise from your teacher, then you are only thinking of yourself; if you do it for the sake of everyone to have a good environment, what you are thinking of is others. These two scenarios are not the same. True kindness is selfless. It means to do good deeds quietly, without the pursuit of having others know,” I explained to her.
After giving it some thought, she replied: “I want to make our classroom more beautiful, and the students will feel good when they see the flowers every day.”
“Will you be upset if the teacher does not praise you?”
“No, no. As long as my classmates like it, I will feel happy about it.”
Later, Ya often asked me to buy things for her, most of which came from her own observation of what the students might need, without any hint from the teacher. She quietly carried out the good deeds and I was delighted to see her change.
Rich vs. Poor
One day, Ya suddenly asked me: “Mom, we do not have a whole lot of money. Are we poor?”
“Why do you ask such a question?” I was surprised.
“One of my classmates has a lot of money and she often buys a lot of snacks. Another one buys lots of tokens to play games. I do not have money to buy any. Aren't we poor?”
I was amused by her innocent inquiry and could not help but laugh. “No we are not poor. We spend money differently. I take you to travel every year and that costs a lot of money. We go on vacations so that you can experience the beauty of nature in an immersive way.
“When you stand at the foot of a huge mountain, you can see how small man is in front of nature, and you will appreciate and respect nature. You will know how to be humble, how to tolerate and how to accommodate others. Do you want mom to spend money on travel and experiencing life or on snacks and playing games?”
“I would rather travel, as I like to see the scenery and many interesting things.”
Whenever we travel, I tell her about the culture and history associated with those places, so that she gets to learn more about China’s divinely inspired culture.
Keeping a Grateful Heart
When Ya's father and I divorced, I went through an agonizing period. But I never revealed my pain to Ya or ever complained about her father. It was Dafa and its teachings that guided me through the predicament and enabled me to understand the following: only by letting go of resentment, can I can unlock the shackles that bound me; only by forgiving others, can I get out of the conflict and pave a bright path for myself; and only by treating others with kindness, can I experience the greatness of compassion.
One day, Ya's father mailed her a box of fruit. She checked them out and seemed not appreciative of it. Her contemptuous attitude caught my attention. I said to her, “Regardless of the quality of the fruit, you should thank your father. When he buys you fruit, he is thinking of you in his heart, and people should know how to be grateful. No matter what your father has done to us in the past, as a daughter, you should respect him and treat him well. Filial piety is the number one virtue of all!”
Even though Ya had very limited contact with her father, their relationship is relatively good.
Clarifying the Facts about Falun Dafa
In 2020 the Wuhan virus spread throughout the country. Ya was very concerned about her father’s safety and she was eager to tell him to recite the auspicious phrases “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance is good,” as many people have recovered from the infection this way.
When her father came to see her in May, Ya prepared a flash drive with information about Falun Dafa and a Dafa keepsake, before going out to have dinner with her father and his wife.
When Ya returned, she told me that her father refused to listen when she tried to tell him how the government covered up the pandemic. She turned around and talked to his wife.
Ya said, “I told her that at critical moments, make sure to recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’ She took my keepsake, thanked me, and also asked me to be careful about my safety. I also give them the material for grandma and grandpa. I also want them to know the truth.”
I praised Ya, “I am so proud of you! You did great today!”
Our life is simple but fun. We laugh a lot together. Ya often tells me: “Mommy, you are so good.”
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