(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I attend Middletown High School in New York, where I study music. I’ve been practicing Falun Dafa since I was very young.
Pain Points out My Attachment to Distractions
In early March 2020, classes had to go online due to the coronavirus pandemic. During the span of about seven months (March to September), my mind was occupied by ordinary pursuits and I became addicted to playing with my cell phone. It was as if the phone was stuck to my hand and there was absolutely no way I could let it go. For 17 hours every day, I would either be on my computer taking online classes or using another device for entertainment. This greatly affected my cultivation, along with my studies.
Whenever I sent righteous thoughts, I couldn’t clear out the bad thoughts and calm down. Along with having continuous improper thoughts, I couldn’t cross my legs in the full lotus position and they began hurting in odd places, such as my knees. Despite the pain and the amount of time it lasted, I looked at the situation with an everyday person’s mindset. “Oh, I slept in a weird position last night.” or “Today’s just not my day.” These were the excuses I told myself. The pain kept occurring when I meditated. I started to think that maybe it wasn’t just some strange way I sat the day before; maybe it was a sign that I needed to improve my xinxing.
Master said,
“For some people, once they feel the pain from crossing their legs, they will move their legs about—and after moving them about, they cross them again. We have found that this serves no use whatsoever. This is because we have seen that when their legs are in pain, the black substance is attacking their legs. The black substance is karma and can be eliminated through suffering; it can then be transformed into de. Once the pain is felt, karma begins to be eliminated.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
My mother told me countless times to let the pain pass. It was all just purification and afterwards, I would feel better. It was hard to simply tolerate the pain, but I realized as a Dafa disciple, I should set my morals according to the three principles of the universe, which includes enduring hardships.
I was gradually able to endure until the end of meditation and my legs were still in the right place. I felt lighter at the end of each exercise session.
Cultivating in the Dye Vat of Ordinary People
While having online classes, the items around me, specifically my phone, distracted me from listening to the teacher. I often found myself looking out the window or surfing the web during class. When I wasn’t in class, I would still be sitting on my bed using my phone, and I wouldn’t move unless my parents told me for the fifth time. Using the phone filled my mind with ordinary human thoughts. I also unconsciously listened to modern music. Only when the new school year was about to start did I suddenly realize that I had done nothing I was supposed to do.
My attachment to social media and the Internet held me back when I should have been looking inward and cultivating myself. It preoccupied my thoughts and whenever I encountered a problem, the ordinary thoughts would block me from seeing the truth.
Master stated,
“Cultivation must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human qing and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
After reading the Fa more and returning to school, I finally saw my situation.The summer was a chance given by Master to learn the reason why everything around me was happening the way it was. The Fa is here to rectify the human realm, and I needed to catch up and save more people. When I returned to school, it was clear that Master had given me another chance to improve myself. The environment at home versus the environment at school was quite different. I had to cultivate myself.
In one of the articles I read on the Minghui website, I saw a quote that I felt pertained to my situation.
Master said,
“If you regret it too much then that’s another attachment. Once you’ve done something wrong, seen where it was wrong, and recognized it, then do it well next time, do it over. If you trip and fall, and just keep lying there instead of getting up, (audience laughs) then that’s no good.” (“Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003”)
Recognizing the Attachment to Pursuit
As a young practitioner and musician, my parents always told me that it was my mission to participate in Shen Yun and be able to save people with other young cultivators through music. Like many other people at Middletown High School, I practiced hard and wanted to attain the goal as soon as possible. What I didn’t realize was that I held onto this attachment so strongly and it was at the point of becoming a pursuit.
I also wanted to grow taller in order to use a bigger cello. I felt if I could use a bigger cello it would sound better, but that wasn’t the only reason. Most of my friends are taller than me, so I envy them and want to be just like them.
Master has said:
“In cultivation and practice one should be in a state free of intention. As long as you focus on cultivating your xinxing, you will make breakthroughs in your level and certainly get things you deserve. If you cannot give something up, isn’t it an attachment?” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
The thought of growing taller was an attachment. “If I can grow to be as tall as my friends, then they wouldn’t be the tallest ones and I wouldn’t feel bad that I am shorter than everyone else.” Although at first I didn’t see this as an attachment, the more I thought about it, the more I felt the need to eliminate it. It became a distraction and I wasn’t focusing on my cultivation.
Conclusion
My experiences helped me understand that I should raise my moral values according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and I should do things the way a true practitioner would. My attachments are waiting to be eliminated and only then can I help the people around me as well.
If there are any misunderstandings or I've said something inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
I would like to end my sharing with one of Master’s poems about cultivation.
“LostMany, many beings fill the universe,Layer after layer, each has heaven as well as earth.Wonderful scenes are marvelous beyond bounds,Worldly humans are lost, not awake.
Wanting to see—easier said than done,Cultivation is like climbing a ladder.Clearing away confusion at a high place,Magnificent sights are wonderful, hard to describe.” (Hong Yin)
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2021 Orange County, New York Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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