(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
When I first joined NTD Television in Thailand in 2013, I was very happy. Being a report or editor could not only validate the Fa and save sentient beings, but also build up my reputation. I wrote articles daily and felt good about it.
After a while, I told another practitioner my pen name. After he searched for and found my articles, he said that they were very good and he kind of admired me. I felt good about that, too.
One month later, the chief editor said that my writing was improving too slowly and I was not suitable to be an editor. She recommended that I do proofreading and come back later after my skill had improved. Instead of looking within and looking for my own attachments, I complained with resentment. Although I was doing proofreading and uploading articles every day, I often expected to come back as an editor.
Looking Within
One day, the project coordinator talked with me. She praised my work ethic and asked if I could take on another duty – handling customers’ feedback for one region.
At that time, I remembered Master’s words,
“It couldn't possibly be that someone's mighty virtue is greater just because he writes articles, acts as an editor, serves as a translator, often appears in or on that media, or because he has some select assignment. All of you who participate in that media entity are, as Dafa disciples, the same, regardless of what task you do.” (Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
Still, due to my strong ego, I felt that I was getting further and further away from being an editor. With that frustration, I found a reasonable-sounding excuse and notified the coordinator that I would quit. The coordinator asked if I could reconsider the decision. When she asked me again two weeks later, I told her that my decision was final.
Not long after that, a coordinator responsible for human resources asked if I could work again as an editor. That was what I had hoped for, so I agreed. From regular news to news about China, my articles often appeared as headlines with a large number of clicks. I also worked hard. Later on, my articles were often included in Freegate, a website for Chinese citizens who could overcome the Internet blockade. Seeing my articles often on the list of the most popular news, I had a feeling of success.
As recommended by the chief editor, I joined a team focused on divine Chinese culture in 2014. When studying the 5,000-year-old Chinese culture, I was shocked. What I said and did were mostly related to the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. In contrast, ancient sages, kings, queens, and others had left a set of traditional values for us including kindness, courtesy, wisdom, and loyalty. The Chinese tradition has continued for thousands of years, but what I did was nearly the total opposite. Looking back at my strong ego, I felt bad and could see loopholes in my cultivation.
Master said,
“There are some people, however, who act without regard to character, unlike what the teachings set forth. They only do the exercises and don’t work on their minds, in which case they can’t be considered practitioners.” (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Comparing to the Fa principles, I felt myself almost not like a practitioner. How could I return with Master, then? Realizing the seriousness of this, I began to work on the basics, examining my thoughts and actions one by one.
Gradually I was able to pass some tests. Some tribulations that had bothered me for years also became much easier. I was no longer resentful. Instead, I could see the strength in other practitioners and interact with them pleasantly. My jealousy also became weaker and I felt diligent, like a new practitioner.
Letting Go of Negative Thoughts
In June 2019 I joined a team to support the Epoch Times in Hong Kong. Surprisingly, I found the assignment to be proofreading, and I knew this was an opportunity for me to improve.
To help with proofreading in traditional Chinese, I bought a copy of Zhuan Falun in traditional Chinese characters. In my daily life, whether it was Fa-study, reading, or searching online, I only used traditional Chinese. As time went on, I kept improving. Especially after May 2020, due to staff shortages, I have been working for at least 10 hours per day, often 7 days a week. My interpretation is that I had too much time in the past and Master gave me this opportunity to make up for the loss.
One year passed and I did all kinds of proofreading, from voice files, the printed version, and online articles. Right now when I begin to work, those characters that need to be fixed often pop up on their own, as if they were eager to be corrected. I consider it an opportunity to correct the articles while improving myself.
Once when proofreading an article predicting a new stock’s IPO, I changed the Arabic numbers to regular spellings in the title, based on the proofreading manual. The author disagreed, saying that the original title was more eye-catching. I told him that I had just followed the rules. Noticing our argument, the editor who reviewed this article said that he would change it back. I was upset by this, thinking that I could lose face because of it. Noticing that this thought came from human notions, however, I immediately caught it and negated it.
Master said,
“As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important. (Applause) If you can manage to handle things calmly no matter how wronged you may feel, if you can remain unmoved and not try to come up with some kind of excuse for yourself, then with many things you won’t even need to argue. That’s because on your path of cultivation there is nothing that is by chance.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
I tried to eliminate the thought of defending myself. In the meantime, I know it is correct, and I should be persistent. This was not to validate myself, but to be responsible for what I was doing.
Master said,
“In truth, the spiritual journey is none other than an ongoing process of learning to let go of the things of this world that we may be attached to.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
When working on eliminating my attachment to fame, I did not realize that I was building up the attachment to comfort. Although I was spending 10 hours per day on proofreading, I did not have to work all the time. During breaks, I would study the Fa, do the exercises, or send forth righteous thoughts. I liked how this went and was pleased with my arrangement, thinking that doing this would make me a diligent disciple, worthy of returning with Master.
An incident disrupted the peace. Once when an editor was looking up some articles, he highlighted a title and wrote a note, complaining that it was so long yet said so little, joking that this was trampling on 5,000 years of Chinese civilization. I found it amusing and added a smiley face to the comment. The reviewer for this article was from Taiwan, and after reading our comments, she said that she would not work as a reviewer anymore. She said that I was piling on maliciously and rude. I was shocked since I had only thought that it was a funny comment and didn't know who had written the title originally, so I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. But in my rush to react, I made things worse. So I immediately looked within and apologized to the practitioner.
Attachment to Comfort
Noticing that there were not enough reviewers, I thought about doing that. That practitioner in Taiwan also suggested that I take that on. But I was hesitant, thinking that my well-organized schedule could be messed up. Looking deeper, however, I realized that it was the attachment to comfort.
The coordinator packed my schedule. I was responsible for three functions at three time slots, uploading, proofreading, and reviewing articles. I tried pushing back several times. The coordinator asked me to hold on until more practitioners joined to shared the workload. After a while, however, I lost patience and became resentful, thinking that my cultivation was being disrupted.
Once when I was doing the second set of exercises, I was bothered by my own complaints and resentment. At that moment, I heard Master’s words, “ They don’t quibble over the work they’re assigned to do, and aren’t just thinking about themselves.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun) I was surprised and knew that I was wrong. I apologized to Master, saying that I would change.
Knowing that was the requirement for Dafa practitioners, I decided to follow it. But it is easier said than done. I realized that it was not easy to follow the assignments since my time was split into small slices, since my role was basically to fill in the gaps that others could not cover. For example, I started working on something at noon, but had to log off at 1 p.m. Another practitioner could continue until 5 p.m., and I would continue after her. Sometimes I was assigned to 5 to 8 a.m., which means my morning exercise time would be occupied. Thinking that others could select their own time while I only filled in gaps, I felt that I was being treated unfairly and overlooked. Thus, I felt resentful again.
Once I was assigned three periods of time, including one at 4 a.m. I became resentful again. I began to reply to the coordinator: the morning in the U.S. is the afternoon in your time zone. Why are you giving a good working time slot in your time zone to me, when it's less ideal? Right after I wrote that message, I remembered Master’s words. So I deleted that message and wrote, “Sure, no problem.” As soon as I sent that message, it felt as if I had let go of a big load. My heart became very light.
Reviewing articles is also a process of improving xinxing. Some reporters do not like their articles to be changed. Some asked us to let them know before making changes. Some articles have extremely long titles, but the reporters said that was the final title. Some even said that is how they do things in Hong Kong. Most of these reporters are new recruits and their articles cannot be used without significant editing.
I was often lost when faced with these challenges. But I do know that it is related to cultivation. Right and wrong on the surface is just the trigger, so what is the underlying problem, then?
At that time, I remembered Master’s words,
“If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Following Master’s words, I decided to change my human notions. Looking back, I found that when I was doing proofreading, I was often told that the problems happened at the proofreading step; when reviewing articles, I was often told that the problems came up at the reviewing step. Apparently it was related to my feeling good about myself and being unwilling to accept criticism.
Master said,
“Be sure to pay heed! From this point on, whoever can’t take criticism is not being diligent, whoever can’t take criticism is not displaying the state of a cultivator, or at least on this issue. (Applause) If someone still can’t pass this test, I’ll tell you, he is in a very dangerous situation, because for a cultivator this is the most fundamental thing, it’s at the top of the list of things to eliminate, and it has to be eliminated. If you don’t get rid of it, you won’t achieve Consummation.” (“Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles”)
To eliminate this human notion, I always exposed it when it happened. When issues arose, I often replied, “I did that,” or “Sorry, it was my fault.” This way, I began to make progress.
Gratitude and Fulfilling Our Mission
Gradually, my resistance to negative words became gratitude. Seeing the coordinator always sending messages about my schedule with a symbol of heshi, I also replied to her with the same.
Very often I was busy the entire day and did not have time to answer my daughter’s phone call. In the past, every day after work on the way home, she could chat with me. I also enjoyed talking with her. Now I have become busier and could hardly do that. I know that there are many people who are waiting for me to help them.
In the morning when I was writing this sharing article, I had a dream: Master came out of the auditorium after giving a lecture. He was only one step away from me. Looking at compassionate Master, I was moved to tears, with gratitude in my heart.
I am thankful that Master has created me and given me the opportunity to become a Dafa disciple. From the bottom of my heart, I have the sincere wish to remain determined on the cultivation path and return with Master.
Master said,
“It might seem that you have done what you should do for Dafa, when actually, you are doing it for your comprehensive Consummation and return. If during this period you cannot do well with what you should do, this Consummation stage can only be a cultivation process, and it cannot fundamentally be a Fa-rectification disciple’s true and final Consummation. If during the evil’s persecution a Dafa disciple doesn’t do well or slacks off, it’s very possible all his previous efforts will have been for nothing.” (“Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)
No matter how long the remaining path is, I will continue to be a diligent practitioner, a disciple that Master is proud of.
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