(Minghui.org) I have cultivated for 10 years, and have experienced sickness karma two times. Each time was somewhat different.
My first experience of sickness karma occurred in November 2014. I was about to visit my mother after breakfast, but experienced pain in my liver. I sat down, thinking it would be over soon.
However the pain worsened, and I felt as if a knife was cutting my liver. I sweated a lot and could not stand up. I then called my sister, who had cultivated for more than a decade, asking her to come over.
She came over and suggested that we send forth righteous thoughts together. I had cultivated for three years. I had no righteous thoughts right at that moment. All I thought of was how to stop the pain. I was also cold and shivered, despite being covered with a blanket. Since I didn’t have righteous thoughts, I asked my sister to read the Fa to me.
I felt a little better. We then went to my mother’s who got scared when she saw me. She suggested I see a doctor. Later, my husband also asked me to go to the hospital. I told them, “Don’t worry. I will be better in a few days.” Both my sister and I believed that I was suffering from sickness karma.
I stayed with my sister, studied the Fa, and sent forth righteous thoughts with her. But I always thought, “What if I won’t get better?” I often fell asleep while sending forth righteous thoughts.
My situation worsened. I was able to go to the bathroom in my room at first, but later I could not even stand up. My legs were swollen. I had difficulty breathing, felt tired, had no appetite, and coughed. I could not lie down and had to sleep sitting up. I sat too much, so I developed a bedsore.
I always told my husband that I would recover soon when he urged me to go to the hospital. But in my heart I held doubt—what if I cannot get better? This doubt got stronger. I asked Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) to help reduce the pain. Fellow practitioners encouraged me to send forth righteous thoughts and study the Fa more often.
One night, I had a dream: I saw Master and asked for help. Master looked at me seriously and gave me a bundle of vegetables for a salad. I put half in the fridge and ate the other half. It was delicious. Since I didn’t cultivate well, I didn’t have any enlightenment back then. I only felt excited, because I knew Master was taking care of me.
My situation was unstable. A month later my situation worsened. I felt that my chest was full of water. My legs and feet were swollen and filled with water. Finally, I went to the hospital. The doctors issued a medical crisis notice, saying that treatments may extend my life for a short while, but I was still near death.
During the following two weeks I underwent all kinds of treatments. The swelling was gone, but I still felt tired and had difficulty breathing. We then went to a larger hospital in Beijing.
I lost 20 pounds over the next weeks. The doctor in the larger hospital found a tumor in my liver and told me that I must have surgery to remove it.
I thought a lot that night. What happened to me? Other practitioners’ health turned for the better through cultivation. I also believe the Fa, I also told myself that the symptoms were an illusion and it might be the elimination of karma. From the articles on the Minghui website, I read that other practitioners’ health improved after they enlightened that it was karma being eliminated. But why did I get worse? I asked Master to help me avoid the surgery.
I sincerely asked Master to give me hints—what had I done wrong? At that moment, another “self” emerged in my mind. This self asked me: “Do you really trust Master and the Fa? Do you really believe that the symptoms were an illusion, and might be the elimination of karma? You always think ‘what if you cannot get better.’ What do you mean by ‘what if?’ You just thought ‘it might be the elimination of karma;’ what do you mean by ‘might?’”
Doubting Master
All of sudden, I realized that I still doubted Dafa. I just talked about “Trust Master and the Fa,” but I didn’t really hold that belief. It was not only the doubt; it was disrespecting Master and the Fa.
Master has done so much for us – more than we can ever imagine. But I didn’t appreciate it and held such bad thoughts. Thinking of this, I cried: I was wrong. I betrayed Master. The more I thought, the sadder I felt. I cried loudly. The tears came from self-blame, regret, and guilt.
I told myself that the surgery would be punishment for my lack of belief in Master and the Fa. I must learn the lesson, and rigorously follow the Fa in the future.
The next day, a chief doctor studied my situation and found that it was too early for the surgery. He decided to keep watching.
How exciting! I wanted to kowtow to Master for saving me. I told my family that I was discharged. They were very surprised and happy.
After I got home, I set up a local Fa-study group and started to make and distribute Dafa informational materials. I recovered soon after.
The Second Experience of Sickness Karma
The second time I experienced sickness karma was in October 2019. I always felt fatigued, coughed, and could not climb the stairs. I ignored it and just kept doing what I should do, but my symptoms worsened. Every cough caused me to vomit blood. Some fellow practitioners said it was an illusion, and some said it was karma elimination.
I told myself not to treat it as sickness as I did last time. But the evil elements were sly. It seems that they knew my thoughts, so they worsened my symptoms. I vomited blood more frequently, and each time, I vomited a large amount. I coughed the entire night, every night.
Twice, I vomited a bowl of dark blood clots. I felt pain in my chest and back. I had difficulty breathing, even when just sitting there. I could not read the Fa aloud. I vomited everything I ate or drank. I also felt dizzy.
My sister and child urged me to see a doctor. I said to them, “I am climbing the stairs now and am almost at the top. It is the evil old forces pulling me down. Don’t fall into their trap. You should encourage me and give me positive energy.” They then stopped pushing me. I felt that I was filled with righteous thoughts.
One night, when I was doing the sitting meditation, I felt dizzy; it was as if the house was spinning. I lay down, but I was still dizzy. I felt like vomiting and tried to go to the bathroom, but I could not stand up. I asked my husband to help me get up. As soon as I got up, I vomited blood, which splashed everywhere.
My husband cleaned up and asked me to go to the hospital. I said, “I am not going to the hospital.” He insisted that I was healed by the hospital last time. I said, “It was not the hospital’s credit. Don’t you remember the doctor’s words – ‘treatments may extend your life for a short while, but won’t keep you alive.’ I would have died if it wasn’t for cultivation. This is not sickness. It is karma elimination. Last time, the hospital treatments messed up the process of karma elimination. I need to finish it this time.”
He asked when it would be over. I recalled Master’s teaching:
“Why can’t some people cure their illnesses after a long period of practice? Qigong is cultivation practice and something supernormal, as opposed to everyday people’s physical exercises. One must focus on xinxing in order to cure illness and increase gong.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
“You cannot only pursue transformation of gong in the physical body without emphasizing improvement of your xinxing. It is waiting for you to upgrade your xinxing—only then will you make a holistic change.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Yes. I must upgrade my xinxing. I should not only focus on karma elimination. I looked within and found a lot of attachments, such as competitiveness, showing off, self-interest, resentment, pursuit of comfort, jealousy, and suspicion. I must follow the Fa and get rid of them.
That night, I saw Master in my dream. It was like the scene in Shen Yun programs—Master, followed by a large number of divine beings, descended from the heavens. I was excited and cried. I knelt down and kowtowed to Master.
Master took a thing out of my waist and peeled it with a knife. It was a radish. I asked if Master was trying to peel off the roots. Master said, “Yes. They must be removed.” I then woke up.
The message in the dream was very clear. I understood right away that Master removed the bad substance from my body. I sat up and thanked Master for saving my life. I cried until dawn.
The last time, Master gave me salad in my dream, but I didn’t finish it. I realized that I didn’t listen to Him, and that was why I had the tribulation again. I enlightened that I should listen to Master 100%, whether it is in real life or in dreams.
As I passed this tribulation, I didn’t take any medicine or see a doctor. I got better, although I still coughed.
My son’s wedding was approaching. How could I go to the wedding, which was to be held in another province.
I asked Master in front of His portrait: “I need to go to the wedding, and distribute truth-clarifying materials to the guests. Please help me, Master.”
The coughing stopped a week before the wedding. My family was amazed—how could it stop all of sudden. They all thanked Master. Before, although my husband was not against my cultivating, he was not supportive, either. Given this experience, he saw Dafa’s amazing power. Now he even sometimes reminds me to send forth righteous thoughts.
As for myself, I solidified my will to follow Master and cultivate until the end. Thank you again, Master, for your benevolent salvation.
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