(Minghui.org) I used to work at a state-owned company. In 2015, during the great wave of suing former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leader Jiang Zemin for persecuting Falun Dafa, I participated using my real name. When my company later found out, they were afraid of being implicated and sent my manager to advise me to resign. I said, “Forcing me to resign because I sent the letter is discrimination against my personal belief.” I showed her a copy of the complaint I had filed against Jiang and told her that my actions were in accordance with the law. The manager was kind and very reluctant to let me go, but she was helpless since it was the company’s decision. Eventually I was forced to leave the company.
Six months later, the manager called me and invited me to return to work. I asked whether they were still concerned about being implicated. She said, “It should be fine if you write a statement, and I will give it to the company chairman.”
I replied, “I won’t write anything against my conscience. I feel the company will still discriminate against me if I return now.”
The manager provided my feedback to the president’s office. The president asked the manager to contact me again a few days later. She said, “The president asked me to sincerely invite you back to work. You don’t need to write anything if you don’t want to. No one will discriminate against you since it is a matter of personal belief. As long as you do your job well, what you do after work is none of our business. The company has never invited anyone back before.”
I finally went back to work, and the company also compensated me the six months of salary. I truly experienced what Master said,
“If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
The department I worked in was dissolved in the second half of 2018 when the company was consolidated. I chose to leave the company for various reasons and later got a job at a private company. I felt a lot of discomfort due to the huge difference between state-owned and private companies. In addition, the company was in a different industry and I had to learn everything from scratch. The director of this company was a shrew-like woman. She routinely scolded people with vulgar words during our daily meetings instead of making suggestions in a positive manner. I began to wonder if she could speak normally.
I was a key employee in my previous company and my manager was very kind and respectful to me. It was difficult for me to adapt to this new environment. I reminded myself that I am a cultivator and this may be happening to help me eliminate my attachments and improve my tolerance. But the situation intensified. There were five people in my group, and two of them seemed to have issues with me. Since I was the newcomer, they bullied me. I not only needed to finish my own work every day but also the work they threw at me. In addition, they badmouthed me in front of the director and said that I was selfish, lazy, cunning, and that I did not help them. In reality, I was busy with my work and the work they left to me. I seldom had time to take a break, while they just sat there. They refused to give me a hand with the work they were supposed to do.
Even so, the director continued to scold me without using my name during the daily meeting—everyone knew who she was talking about. My attachments to saving face and resentment reached their limits. I told my older sister, who was also a practitioner, about my issues at work. I hoped she could point out my problem based on the Fa. However, I burst into tears and all the depression and grievances in my heart poured out while I described it. I hadn’t cried like this for decades, even when I was persecuted in the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) prison. I finally calmed down after crying.
My sister said, “You should first look within. You were a core member of your previous company and your manager’s right-hand person. But now you suddenly fell to the lowest point. A new job always requires a process. But we are Dafa practitioners, and Master and the Fa are with us at all times. Everything about us, including our work, is arranged by Master. Nothing is coincidental. There must be some human notions we need to get rid of during cultivation and some factors for us to improve on.”
I realized I had almost fallen into the old forces’ trap. It used my attachments to destroy my work environment in order to have me lose my job, which in turn would negatively affect the three things I need to do well. How could I be so careless?
Master said,
“The complicated environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more complicated it is, the greater the individuals it will produce. If one can elevate oneself above and beyond it, one’s cultivation will be the most solid.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s teaching enlightened me. I realized I should really look within. I calmed down, thoroughly examined myself and found a lot of attachments. First, I found my attachment to fame. I used to be the backbone of a company, but now I was a junior apprentice. This really provoked my attachment to saving face. Second, I felt wronged and that my self-esteem was insulted. I was diligent and good at my previous job, so my manager and company leaders respected me. Now I was no longer an expert. I was unfamiliar with the business and my coworkers all pointed fingers at me. Finally, I had an attachment to not being able to accept criticism. In the past, my managers and colleagues praised me for my excellence. Now I had to beg for many things and was constantly criticized.I also felt jealousy and resentment. I was jealous that the other group was so harmonious; they all helped and cooperated with each other. In contrast, my group treated me very unfairly.
After finding all my human notions, it felt like a huge burden was lifted from me. I felt ease and comfort beyond words, as if a boulder on my chest was suddenly removed.
Master said,
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.” (“Realms”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Once I found my attachments, I rectified myself based on the Fa. I understood my resentment was caused by my attachment to fame. My self-esteem was triggered by emotion. When my strong self-esteem could not be satisfied, I became resentful. When I felt wronged or could not accept criticism, it was really my strong selfishness. The substance of selfishness was trying to protect itself and would not allow me to let go of my attachments.
After I found the root cause of my resentment and grievance and rectified myself, I regained my peace, kindness and tolerance. Amazingly, my work environment also changed dramatically. I was transferred to another group. I got along well with my team members and there were no conflicts. My workload returned to normal and we worked together.
To my surprise, the director also became kinder and seldom swore. Occasionally, she would point something out during the daily meeting, but in a tactful way and not as aggressively as before. I now have a deeper understanding of Master’s Fa,
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Thank you, Master, for the compassionate enlightenment! Above is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
