(Minghui.org) I started my cultivation in Falun Dafa in 1998. At that time, I was just a youngster. Looking back over more than 20 years of cultivation practice, I regretfully discovered that I wasted precious time along the way.

One afternoon a few days ago, a police officer from my area called saying that he wanted to come to my place for a ‘house visit.’ I asked him what it was regarding, but he did not want to tell me. Instead, he warned me about mentioning sensitive topics on the phone. I was reminded that I must be very careful about mobile phone safety. At that time, as I was still at work, he said he would arrange another time with me and hung up the phone.

Two years ago, this same police officer had come to my house. At that time, he asked me about my situation, saw that I chose to continue Falun Dafa cultivation, did not say anything, and left. This time, after putting down the phone, I did not think much about it or, rather, I did not really care much about it.

However, that afternoon, I started to feel worried. This ‘fear’ kept coming to me in waves and all sorts of weird thoughts started to come into my mind. Good things, bad things, things that should happen, things that should not happen.

These negative thoughts kept appearing in my mind and I knew that I needed to send forth righteous thoughts to reject them and resist the persecution by the old forces. However, my brain seemed foggy, and sending out righteous thoughts proved to be difficult. I was drained both physically and mentally. There was a sort of cold that came from within, penetrating through my bones and my heart, making me at a loss for words.

After sharing this concern with my mother (a fellow practitioner), she told me, “There will not be any problem. Just reject these feelings with righteous thoughts.” Although I agreed very much with what she said, my inner mind was still in turmoil and I did not know what else to say to her. I finally decided to be by myself to quiet down for a bit.

As I looked at the portrait of Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, guilt welled up in my heart; my work was actually not that busy recently but I did not make good use of the time to cultivate diligently. Instead, I used my free time to listen to music and play with my mobile phone. If I felt sleepy when I studied the Fa at night, I would just go to sleep; but if I was playing with my mobile phone, I could keep energetically playing through the night. Sometimes, I would even miss the 12 a.m. time to send forth righteous thoughts.

I sat in the meditation position below Master’s portrait and said, “Master, I know that I am in the wrong. I am a Dafa disciple during the Fa rectification period, even if there are loopholes in my cultivation at times and I have not done well, I will follow Master and have nothing to do with the old forces.” Actually, I felt that all that I had touched on was just a small portion of the problem and I apologized to Master. Whatever I said later came naturally as though the thoughts just flowed forth. I knew that this was Master helping me to understand.

Just then, I felt that my mind became a bit clearer. I thought, “Let that police officer come so that I can clarify the truth to him. I want to face him uprightly.” I suddenly understood the problem and decided to call him back in a while.

Just when I felt that I was ‘prepared’ for it, the police officer’s phone call came before I even had the chance to call him first. He asked me, “Do you have time to meet me today?” I said, “No.” I wanted to meet him the next day instead, but he was not free the next day. In the end, we put off meeting for a few more days. 

After hanging up the phone, I wondered why I had not successfully set up the meeting. In life, I am an impatient person. If there is something on hand that I need to complete, I will complete it as soon as possible before resting. However, in this case, because the meeting time could not be quickly arranged, this matter really began to disturb my heart.

Once again, I sat in the meditation position, closed my eyes and said to Master in my heart, “I believe in Master and Dafa. However, I do not understand, isn’t it better for this matter to be settled as soon as possible? How painfully hard is it for me to be tormented by having to wait for this matter to be settled?” “Painfully hard”? I immediately caught this phrase: Why do I feel that it is painfully hard? Is this because if I quickly get it settled, I can continue to do what I should be doing as a Falun Dafa practitioner? Or is it so I can then continue to play with my mobile phone and listen to music? Do I have the thought of getting it quickly settled so that I can relax?”

I cannot behave like that. If I do that, the old forces will say to Master, “See, our method works better right? Just a scare and she will quickly study the Fa and cultivate. Furthermore, she is cultivating even more diligently than usual!” In that way, won’t I be falling into the old forces’ trap again and be opposing the persecution within the persecution itself? How can I follow what Master said and not acknowledge the old forces?

My impatient heart then calmed down quite a lot. In my heart, I thanked Master, and my determination to cultivate seriously grew. When situations like this pop up, I must still study the Fa, practice the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, and believe in Master and the Fa as usual. The evil suddenly became so small that I no longer thought it to be so big and insurmountable.

For the next few days, I continued to study the Fa. Apart from practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, I would close my eyes and sit in the meditation posture for a while each day. In my heart, I would talk to Master about the questions that I had concerning my cultivation. At that moment, I would calm down totally and my thoughts would flow like a spring. After talking to Master, answers to my queries would come into my mind.

For some questions, having the first level of answer was not enough. If I was able to think of the imperfect areas of this understanding, another new level of understanding of the Fa principles would immediately appear in my mind. My understandings just kept elevating in levels in this way. I realized that if I had met with the police officer that very day, I would just be relying on my individual courage. This is me being self-centered, blinded by my confidence to ‘reason it out’ with him. This is being competitive with others instead of approaching him from the perspective of the Fa.

On the day when I finally met with that police officer, I was still not able to help him quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations right away. After he left, I immediately understood that my intention to save him must be strong and clear.

When that police officer came 2 years ago, I wanted to clarify the truth to him but he would always interrupt me. However this time, I got to say what I wanted to say without a tinge of nervousness and by sending righteous thoughts.

Lastly, I exhorted him, “From now on, you must not make any trouble for the other Dafa practitioners as they are all truly good people.” He smiled bitterly and said that he did not have any intention to make things difficult for us and he also had no thoughts to disturb our lives.

This matter led me to have a deeper respect for practitioners who shared on Minghui.org about their clarifying of the truth to police officers who came to their houses to harass them. They were even able to help them quit the CCP. I really saw a gap between our cultivation states. 

In this way, I reached a true elevation in my cultivation process. The old forces want to use the areas that we do not do well in as an excuse to create disturbances. Master just made use of this process to help his disciples elevate their cultivation states. The harassment encountered by Dafa practitioners all have their own complicated reasons, when we believe in Master and the Fa, we can definitely overcome tribulations as Master is right by our side.

Previously, I thought that there was still plenty of time to clarify the truth to people so I could take my time cultivating myself. I’m clearer now that we must not have any attachment to time. 

Master said, 

“Once I have you obtain the Fa, I will always give you plenty of time. But if you can’t be diligent, if you aren’t able to regard yourself as a cultivator, then everything is in vain. I give you plenty of time. It’s plenty of time for you to be diligent, not time for you to half-heartedly cultivate.” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia)

The old forces’ ‘house visits’ and ‘harassment’ have nothing to do with us as these are not the tribulations that Master has arranged for us. However, when facing every situation that happens, we must look within and treat it seriously. We cannot treat it casually or be blinded by our self-centeredness; we also cannot be full of fright when we face it, as though we are confronting a formidable enemy. Instead, through these situations, we need to gain understanding of greater and deeper Fa principles. 

Just as Master said, 

“Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating.” (“To The Chicago Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)

Our cultivation has not ended so we should not relax as we continue to practice Falun Dafa. Master is always by our side, watching us as we continue to progress in our cultivation. 

The above are my own understandings at my level.