(Minghui.org) After living into my elderly years and going through more than 20 years of trials and hardships since practicing Falun Gong, I have a deeper understanding of the meaning of life. I respect and cherish life more than ever before, and I always encourage myself to walk well on the last leg of Fa-rectification.
I took time out of my busy schedule to help my sister place bags on growing apples for a week in the spring of 2018. I didn’t really have the time and ability to help her bag her apples. I had more than 1.65 acres of land of my own. I had to study the Fa, do the five-set exercises, and clarify the truth.
However, I was aware that my sister was truly having a difficult time. My brother-in-law was sick all the time and needed to be cared for. My sister’s health was not good either. She had to get injections, take medicine, and was even hospitalized from time to time. Their financial situation was poor.
She knew that I was very busy, she usually did not bother me. But this time she asked for my help. I had failed to clarify the truth to her previously, so I thought I could take this opportunity to explain things to her more thoroughly. So I helped her, and clarified the truth to her much more deeply for a week. She asked a lot of questions, and I was able to clear up all of her misunderstandings. My sister started believing in Dafa, and I was so happy.
A few days after I went home, I felt numb in both hands as I prepared truth clarification materials. I thought that I was probably too tired. I had been busy baging apples during the day and doing housework, studying the Fa and doing the exercises at night. I had very little time to rest, or even to eat normally.
I thought things would get better in a few days, so I didn’t take the numbness too seriously. However, after a few days, it became worse. I felt weak and could hardly do any housework. I had no appetite, and vomited if I ate anything. But I still had to harvest wheat. I truly believed that Dafa disciples do not get sick, and that these abnormal signs are either from interference by evil factors in other dimensions, or karma elimination. I thought that as long as I studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, looked inward, and improved in the Fa, everything would be fine.
My state swang between better and worse intermittently for many days. During the seventh month of the lunar calendar, I felt weak and painful. I couldn’t eat any food. Large, hard lumps appeared on my chest, back, neck, and head. I couldn’t sleep at night. I felt painful if I lay on my side. If I lay down with my face up, I had difficulty breathing. Still, I had to bear the pain and go to harvest peanuts.
I kept looking inward and did find many attachments. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them, but it seemed ineffective. I could hardly get up to do the exercises in the morning as I either slept through my alarm or simply could not get up.
I spoke with Master in my heart, “I want to get up to do the exercises. I have attachments to be rectified in the Fa. I don’t acknowledge the persecution imposed by the old forces.” However, I just couldn’t get up. I felt like my body could not be mobilized.
I shared this with fellow practitioners. They helped me by sending righteous thoughts. I also increased my efforts to send righteous thoughts. But all of these efforts seemed to be in vain. My health became worse and worse.
My son came back from Shanghai and after seeing me in so much pain insisted on taking me to a hospital. I was afraid that my family would not understand Dafa, so I went to a big hospital in Shanghai with my son. The diagnosis was lung cancer. Re-examination revealed that my liver, kidneys, stomach, intestines, neck, head, and bones all had cancer.
The doctor told my son behind my back, “There is no cure for a situation like this, go home and don’t spend your money in vain.” At my son’s insistence, I was hospitalized. I only knew what was going on by accidentally overhearing conversations between the doctor and my son. I didn’t ask my son about my situation, because he was very sad at that time. He looked after me day and night and lost a lot of weight.
I did not eat or drink for 15 consecutive days. My daughter-in-law asked me, “How long can you last?” I answered, “A person’s life is not a matter of how long it lasts. The point is whether this life is worthwhile.” She asked again, “Is your life worthwhile?”
I said, “I think so. I have raised two children and both have graduated from college. I have done my duty as a mother. On the other hand, I have practiced the most precious Dafa in this life, which is hard to come by in thousands of years. It helped me understand the true meaning of life. Thus, I believe my life is worthwhile.” She nodded with tears in her eyes.
After a pause, my daughter-in-law suddenly said, “Since you practice Dafa, you can ask your Master to save you.” I answered, “Master cares about cultivation rather than the birth, aging, sickness and death in ordinary people’s lives.”
I thought, “If I am a true cultivator, even if I do not ask, Master will take care of me. If I am not a true cultivator, begging will not help.” Because my daughter-in-law does not practice Dafa, and I was not absolutely sure about whether I could pass this tribulation, I could not smear Dafa and cause my family members to not understand and reject Dafa.
I faced this tremendous tribulation, which reflected both on my physical body in this dimension and gigantic pressure from other dimensions. I had to pass through one by one.
Later on, after I was discharged from the hospital, my son noticed that I was in a lot of pain. So he escorted me to the hospital again. I laid in bed and didn’t eat or drink for more than ten days. The pain was horrible.
The doctor whispered to my son, “She is done. Please go home and prepare for the funeral.” The patient next to me also said that I would not make it. I said in my heart, “What do you know? I don’t acknowledge the arrangements made by the old forces because Master does not.”
I was discharged, and returned home. I then passed this test again. When we went to the hospital again, the doctor was shocked to see me. He jumped up like a child happily, and said to my son, “What a surprise! Your Mom has recovered so well, it’s a miracle.”
I never lost my way. However, after I arrived in Shanghai, I couldn’t distinguish north, south, east, or west. I could not find the train station, so I could not go home. In the spring of 2019, I asked my son to let me go home.
My son said, “I will worry if you go back. If you are really homesick, wait until the weather gets warmer, we will take you home for a few days.” After a while, I asked to go home again, but my son still disagreed. I was very anxious because I hadn’t studied the Fa in more than half a year. All I could do was recite the Fa from memory.
So I begged Master in my heart, “Master, please help me, I want to go home.” After I begged Master, my son happily agreed the next time I brought it up. He bought me a plane ticket. So I returned home smoothly.
Within a few days of returning home, I received Master’s new lecture “Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference.” I then received the book Hong Yin V. I read both eagerly.
“As Dafa disciples, you just cultivate according to this Fa. Master once said, ‘Set your cultivation goal as high as you want, as long as you dare to!’ You all know that cultivation is not easy: eliminating karma, passing tribulations; how many times will you stumble when encountering Xinxing conflicts, not to mention those major tribulations? How can you overcome them?! Those who know these things are fearful at the thought of them—they are really difficult, truly difficult!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
I burst into tears as I read the above paragraph. Master saw it all. Some people say that it was a test of life and death. I felt it was much more than life and death. From the perspective of personal cultivation, the human body is just like a piece of clothing. Life and death is like putting on and taking off an article of clothing.
Yet today’s crisis involves a much larger cosmic issue about whether countless sentient beings will remain. Today’s cultivation has much higher and stricter requirements for Dafa disciples during the Fa-rectification period. Dafa disciples have great responsibilities.
The old forces are very evil, and they look at Dafa disciples sternly. In 2019, when I wanted to write about my experience, I suddenly felt a black substance press against me. It seemed that I couldn’t stand it for a second, and I was about to be crushed. During that thought of life and death, I understood that it was not what Master wanted! What Master wants is:
“Gods are in the world, validating Fa”(“What’s There to Fear?” Hong Yin, Volume II)
Save more sentient beings! The meaning of my life, my historical mission, and my responsibility does not allow me to give up my body now! I stood up. With the compassion and blessing of Master, I passed another test.
Through this test, I realized that for ordinary cultivation, such as personal cultivation, it is not important to give up the body. But today, the requirements for Dafa disciples are very high. We must be responsible to Dafa and to all sentient beings.
At this point, I would like to say: Fellow practitioners in tribulations, no matter how hard it is as the body has to bear the tribulation, as long as you firmly believe in Master, firmly believe in Dafa, you can’t give up easily!
“Disciples’ righteous thoughts are strongMaster has the power to turn the tide”(“Master-Disciple Grace,” Hong Yin, Volume II)
With Master’s blessing, I overcame many tribultions within in 2019 and truly passed the life and death test. After more than a year of tribulations, my weight dropped from more than 100 pounds to a little over 60 pounds. I was skinny to the bone. I cannot imagine how much Master endured for me during this time.
I have now fully recovered. My face is rosy. When people who know about my tribulation see me, they say that it’s a miracle. One said, “I have witnessed the miraculous and greatness of Dafa from you.”
Looking back over the course of my life, I am full of emotion. I cannot express my infinite gratitude to Master in human language. I can only be diligent, more diligent!
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