(Minghui.org) I learned Falun Dafa when I was young, but stopped after the persecution started. After I returned to Dafa cultivation, I learned how not to cultivate with selfish pursuit and improved quickly.
Practicing Dafa as a Child
I started practicing Dafa with my parents in 1999 when I was preschool age. Too young to understand the importance and significance of cultivation, I simply accompanied my parents to Fa study and the exercises.
After the persecution of Falun Dafa began in July 20, 1999, my parents were pressured to give up the practice against their will. I also stopped cultivating. Nonetheless, the beauty of Dafa had taken root in my young heart.
When I was in elementary school, I came down a high fever after a flu shot and it lasted over a week. I was admitted to the hospital, but the doctors didn’t know what to do and sent me home. A relative with whom we normally didn’t communicate suggested I drink a lot of water. Amazingly, my fever went down the next day. My parents at the time believed that Master had arranged for this relative to help me, and had been looking out for us all along. We resumed our cultivation.
I studied the Fa with my mother every morning, which was a truly happy time for me. However, I later discovered that I was cultivating in Dafa for selfish reasons: so that Master would give me wisdom, so that I would get good grades, and so that I would have good health. On the surface, I appeared indifferent to self interest, but deep down I wanted to benefit from Dafa. It was a selfish mentality of pursuing gain. In fact, these benefits would come naturally in Dafa cultivation.
I was an obedient child at home, with good grades and a kind personality, and others envied me. I cultivated by following my parents’ footsteps, but I did not recognize its significance or cherish it. Instead, I subconsciously saw Dafa as a protective shield and did not truly cultivate myself, allowing my selfishness to grow.
Drifting Away from Dafa
While attending boarding schools in middle school and high school, I lost the cultivation environment and lived like an ordinary person. I even signed my name on a piece of paper slandering Dafa out of fear. Afterward, I felt that the sky was gray and my brain was chained up. The old forces exploited this loophole, and I did poorly on my high school and college entrance examinations.
In college, I followed my roommates to watch inappropriate videos and play games. Because I did not get into my ideal college, I felt lost and gradually gave up. After watching the movie "Once We Were Divine," I realized that my heavenly kingdom and the gods there must have experienced a disaster due to my bad behavior at that time.
I continued to be addicted to watching videos and playing online games, even after I started working. Although I knew it was wrong, I couldn't break the habit. I studied the Fa intermittently and browsed the Minghui website, but spent more time on news to satisfy my curiosity. Master didn't give up on me—I was blessed with perfect health and hadn't taken a single pill for more than 20 years.
Later, I had a chance to transfer to another branch with my job, but human resources didn’t seem to be able to get the paperwork done. The feeling of my brain being chained up became more prominent during this time, like the chains were cutting into my brain. One day, I read an article on the Minghui website about the solemn declaration, a necessary step for practitioners to negate their tainted experiences and move forward cleanly.
I submitted my solemn declaration that same day. My brain immediately felt free, as if the chains had melted away in an instant. I cried for Master’s mercy, that he had given me a chance to return to cultivation. The branch I was about to transfer to used to only hire employees from prestigious colleges, but had just loosened this restriction for this new batch of employees. I received my offer the next day, after submitting my solemn declaration. Everything was arranged by Master, and Master did not want to leave any Dafa practitioners behind.
Resuming Cultivation
After that, I have been studying the Fa and browsing the Minghui website every day. Although I practice alone, the Minghui website makes me feel connected to fellow practitioners. On days when I fail to get up to do the exercises in the morning, I make up for it later in the day. I make efforts to relinquish my attachment to comfort and practice every morning. I no longer cultivate with the pursuit of personal gain, but unconditionally assimilate to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and remove my selfishness. Immersing myself in the Fa, I am able to maintain a peaceful mind and a genuine smile on my face.
The place I was renting had an extra room, and I hoped that it would remain empty so I wouldn’t be disturbed. But one day, I realized my selfishness and the financial loss it caused the landlord. The room was rented out that same day, showing me the power of a positive thought.
Though my new roommate woke me up his first night there, I was not irritated. Master rewarded me with a dream that night, in which I was an angel in a white robe with wings. Master arranged this new environment for me to get rid of my ego and improve quickly. I took all of my roommate’s disturbances gladly.
I had wasted a lot of time and rarely did anything to save people. After Master published the article “How Humankind Come to Be,” I realized that the Fa-rectification process had reached a late stage and time was running out. I must cultivate myself well, break through my attachment to fear, and have the courage to tell people the facts about Dafa and save them. I must truly immerse myself in the Fa.
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