I'd like to share with you my experience in searching for the teacher and the Fa (Law and Principles), as well as a little bit of my cultivation (spiritual refinement) experience.
To pursue cultivation (spiritual refinement) practice, I had been in the mountains alone for several times. To find a genuine teacher, I had visited old Buddhist and Taoist temples all across China. I had also headed a temple and explored into Qigong. Now that I finally attained the genuine Fa (Law and Principles), I understand how precious it is and I am determined to practice cultivation (spiritual refinement) in Falun Dafa to reach completion.
In my childhood, I often had strange experiences. Often times my soul could separate from my body. Sometimes when I stopped playing, I looked into the sky and thought to myself: Is it truly boundless? How big can it be? When the thought came to me that after some years I would die and nothing would be left, I felt sad. In the troubled years thereafter, I often recalled and missed the fleeting but pleasant period of my childhood. Those were the only happy moments of my life. When I reached ten, I lost my mother and several other relatives, and started my turbulent journey of life.
In the primary school, after I learned a story about Lu Ban (a legendary carpenter in Chinese history), the idea of cultivation (spiritual refinement) began to evolve in my mind. Since I had never heard of cultivation (spiritual refinement) practice at that time, the concept was still obscure and only existed in my sub consciousness. At that time, I often had strange experience but didn't give it much attention, assuming that it was common to everyone. The experience usually occurred at nights, when my mind would become clean and I was able to enter a much wider dimension. Several times I saw my passed relatives coming back to me.
As I grew older, I learned the concept of cultivation practice and instinctively understood that it was for me. But my pursuit could not be fulfilled in lack of a genuine teacher. Then the idea came to me that I should leave home. In the long years thereafter I experienced numerous hardships of life and physical and spiritual traumas, which I would not delve into in detail. I will only talk about my cultivation practice.
The first mountain I entered is Da Xinganling (in Northeast China). There I had no teacher and practiced by myself. During that period of practice, I passed the stage of Milky White Body (a body free of illness and bad substance) and developed Gong (cultivation energy). After attaining Falun Dafa, I learned that some accomplished person from the mountain had visited me there. But he could not take me as disciple, probably because he foresaw that I would attain and practice Falun Dafa in the future.
The time I came out of the mountain, Qigong was already prevalent in society. I tried different schools of Qigong like a baloon drifting over the top of the waves. But none of them were satisfactory to me. Later, I rendered that to get the real stuff I might need further exploration. Therefore, I joined a Qigong organization in Beijing. After being there for a while, I realized that what they really pursue was money and fame. I felt like stumbling into a den of demons. It was fortunate that at that time I could remain rational. I managed to free myself from the demons that the sham Qigong masters carried with painstaking efforts and various adventures. It's clearly remembered that every time the demons possessed me, I became motionless. But with a righteous mind, I could always shake them off. Prior to attaining Falun Dafa, I had been bumping around among the demons. After attaining Falun Dafa, I deeply understand its preciousness and cherish it more than my life.
In Beijing, I had also made several attempts to approach the Tao (the Way and Principles). But all my attempts were fruitless. Then I traveled to the south and encountered a Laoshan (a mountain in Shandong, China) Taoist in Zhejiang province. He began his practice with swallowing the Dan (Alchemy). What he practiced was the kind that the master passes only to one selected disciple. He had some genuine stuff but refused to teach it to others. He only taught things about healing illnesses and improving health. That was the second trip I made to the south in search of a teacher and the Fa (Law and Principles). In Jiangxi province, I made a second trip into the remote mountains. I walked more than 100 li (2 li = 1 Kilo) in the mountains and almost fell into steep valleys for several occasions. Towards noon I reached the place I was looking for. I found a monk between 200 and 300 years old who rarely received visitors. I was allowed in after obtaining his permission. Since he did not cultivate his body, he was old to a frightening extent: his skin was so loose as to be easily pulled long up at a soft pinch; his hands were cracked and bundled with adhesive fabrics; his pupils were already dilated. Nevertheless, he was still alive. Despite the summer heat, he was having a worn-out cotton coat and a hat. He needed hand aid to walk. Upon my entering, he began talking about wisdom in old local dialect. Then he asked me, "do you have any more questions?" I said "no". After a while, he didn't show intention to let me stay but gave me a book about wisdom. The book was a very old one, talking about ways to avoid death and reincarnation. Since at that time I was already beyond the middle level of Shi-Jian-Fa cultivation (in triple-world spiritual practice), I did not read his book.
In a period that followed, I felt extremely agony. On the one hand, after so many years of search, I had not found a genuine teacher and a way of salvation; on the other, since there was already a distance between my thinking and that of everyday people, I was not used to the life in secular society. Later, I found a ErzhiChan (Double Finger Practice) master in Shangdong. The man was able to break the bricks with gushing water from his mouth and stand upside down on two fingers. But his practice only covered external body cultivation and martial arts, not about gaining salvation from cycles of reincarnation. Therefore it had little appeal to me. I left him one month later. Afterwards I also learned some external cultivation ways in the mountains of Jiangxi (in southern China). Those practices were good but could not help in gaining salvation. So I gave them up again.
By then I had tasted all kinds of hardships of life and was extremely miserable. I could find no other way but to go into the mountains again, this time the Changbai Mountains (in northeast China). At that time Falun Dafa was already made public and widely popular in society. However, I knew nothing about it. After attaining Falun Dafa, Teacher Li Hongzhi told me that while I was in the Changbai Mountains, some accomplished person also visited me. But he could not take me as disciple either. The time in the mountains was awfully lonely.
Later I shaved my head and became a monk in Anhui province (in central China). Because I did not intend to pursue money, no animal spirits in the temple could touch me. That temple physically resembled a dragon. But the former head of the temple destroyed its shape to attract tourists and make money. As a result, animal spirits were also brought in, making the temple a messy and polluted place.
One day, I heard someone mentioning words of "Falun Gong" (another name for Falun Dafa) and was instantly shocked. But nothing happened afterward: I did not see anyone practice Falun Gong. Then, another half year passed by and I changed to another temple. A practitioner who had attended Teacher Li's 9-day session in Hefei (capital of Anhui province) traveled all the way to the temple by train and brought me a book. The book was "China Falun Gong". Before that we did not know each other. She said she only dropped in the temple by chance. That's how I attained Falun Dafa. The event sounds simple. But when I look back, I understand how much it took me to get to that step.
I have only briefly talked about my experience in attaining Falun Dafa and have not referred to my hardships. Ever since my childhood, hardships happened on me on a non-stopping basis. Some of the hardships might sound formidably tough to everyday people and each of them posed me a dead end. But they tempered my heart and prepared me for attaining Falun Dafa.
What a blessing it is that I can now practice Falun Dafa without worrying about interference from demons and animal spirits, which would be constant annoyances of practicing low-level cultivation ways. Our Teacher has swept them away and takes care of us. What we only need to do is giving up attachments. In the past, that was impossible.
When I practiced cultivation in temples, people who came to pray for benefits from Buddha brought in so many animal spirits. Among those people were those that had family unhappiness, got divorced, or lost money in gambling. Due to the temple's picturesque landscape, from time to time movie makers and television stations would come to shoot pictures. In name it was a temple, but in actuality it was not longer a place for cultivation. It became part of society. So I decided to leave.
I had the chance to visit an Immortal Cave in a mountain. In the cave were a stone sitting stand, a stone desk and stone benches used by ancient cultivators. Due to old ages, they had all collapsed. Peering through another dimension, I found three characters in the cave. I transcribed those old Chinese characters on the entrance of the cave in this dimension and even thought of practicing cultivation there. But the local government did not allow me to leave, alleging that someone must take care of the temple. It turned out easy to find a caretaker, because monks pursuing money and fortune were everywhere. Before long they found a money-loving monk who happily took over the temple. Again the temple became 'prosperous' and a paradise for demons.
After attaining Falun Dafa, I returned to practice cultivation in society. As destiny dictated, later on I came to the United States.
I dislike talking about perceptual experience about Falun Dafa and only care for rational thinking. I came to realize that the more rational approach I take, the more determined I become in cultivation. Perceptual experience is only derived from a human perspective. Through diligent study of the books of Teacher Li Hongzhi and rational probing, my mind becomes more and more firm and has not been swayed by the many tests that have occurred. I never look at any events relating to Falun Dafa from human perspective. I am fully aware that all my wisdom comes from Falun Dafa or, in other words, is bestowed by Falun Dafa. It is my unshakable belief that Falun Dafa is the righteous cultivation way.
Now, I would like to talk about my attachments and would like to start with small ones. Despite the fact that I have been practicing Falun Dafa for several years, sometimes I still become impatient when listening to others talking. Although this is the most basic matter, I still can't handle it well, let alone more important ones. Why do I become impatient? Obviously the reason is that what others say does not fit my taste. Minor or major, those matters revealed significant attachments of mine. I mentioned previously that I did not like talking about perceptual experience about Falun Dafa. Obviously it exposed a big attachment. I often thought: "I won't write about and share my cultivation experience. There's nothing to talk about." But on a second thought, I asked myself: "Is there really nothing to talk about? How can there be no attachments left if the cultivation has not completed? Given that I could not even do well on trivial matters, how can I claim to have nothing to talk about?" After a more thorough reflection, I realized that my initial understanding was too superficial and lacked rational and in-depth comprehension. A good practitioner may easily see lots of attachments and contradicting ideas in this speech. But this provides me an excellent opportunity to improve myself and get rid of my attachments, which otherwise would not be discovered. Teacher Li said, "Experience Sharing conference is very conducive to helping practitioners improve each other. Once conditions mature in the future, it should be held in every region." Reading the teachings, I decided to lay aside that attachment and write about my experience. If I had not given my talk today but merely sit here listening to others talk, I might have only found attachments of others but not my own, which would remain buried deep in my heart. How can a person in the course of cultivation have no attachments? He definitely has attachments no matter how well he practices.
After I came to the United States, Teacher Li Hongzhi told me: "Put all your previous perceptions aside. They are all obstacles." Therefore, I made a lot of efforts in enhancing "no second cultivation way" (concentrating on one cultivation way only to avoid interference) and being determined in Falun Dafa. But meanwhile I ignored curbing other attachments, among which the most significant is feeling superior over other practitioners. Because I practiced longer and knew more than others, I talked too much of my knowledge to them. In fact, it showed that I had not laid aside my old stuff. That mentality encompasses such attachments as showing off and craving for fame. Nevertheless, I still regarded being determined in cultivation as the most critical. At New York Conference, Teacher Li said: "In fact, it is very easy to get rid of certain attachments for practitioners. So long as a practitioner is ascertained to be able to complete cultivation, other attachments can be eliminated on a gradual basis." Using Teachers words as an excuse, I did not pay much attention to the mentality of feeling superior to others. Later on, it developed to such an extent that whenever I spoke, other practitioners would grow repulsive.
Now it's time for me to conduct a thorough examination of myself. I 'm trying to dig out as many attachments as possible and curb them with every effort. I will advance my cultivation practice on a solid basis, not superficially. At New York Conference, Teacher Li said: "Now matter how meticulous I tell you about the structure of the universe, you are still a human being. Don't divert your time and attention in this. Put your efforts in cultivation practice." That's true. If attachments are not eliminated and human mentality is not abolished, no matter how much theory you know, it become everyday people's theory; no matter how meticulous the structure of the universe is understood, we are only everyday people. Getting rid of attachments and transforming human mentality is true assimilation to the Fa (Law and Principles). Teacher Li said: "The whole course of cultivation is the course of getting rid of cultivators' attachments." Without assimilating ourselves to Falun Dafa, it's hard to have an adequate understanding of that sentence. I will put aside my human attachments and truly assimilate myself to Falun Dafa. Only by transforming my human thinking and exposing my true nature can I really gain control of myself. By this time I will be fully awake and joyous in totality. I am an element of Falun Dafa and a tiny entity of the universe. I'm aware that the course of my cultivation is the course of me being created by Falun Dafa. To me, the course of cultivation is a matter of diligent practice. But to the Fa, it's the process and the way the Fa chooses to create my life.
My life, my wisdom, and my whole being are bestowed by Falun Dafa. I should not interpret anything that happens to Falun Dafa from my human perspective. What I can do is to assimilate myself to the Fa and melt myself into the Fa.
Category: Journeys of Cultivation
