(Clearwisdom.net) First of all I heshi (pay respect) to our compassionate Teacher!
I am a 70-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner from the Hubei Province, who began to practice Falun Gong on April 8, 1996.
1. I Had the Great Fortune to Learn Falun Dafa and Was Given a New Life
I recall vividly the problems, tribulations and pain I suffered before I practiced Falun Gong. I remember that after my spouse and I had passed great distress, he held my hands, burst into tears and said to me, "I won't forget your kindness and generosity for my whole life." But in fact, I was an unwanted person in his eyes. He actually hoped that I would die. Late at night, I secretly sobbed, alone in my misery. I couldn't for the life of me understand why after I had suffered so much pain and hardship for this family, leaving me in poor health, I then was mentally abused and discarded. I felt that the love between husband and wife was really nothing permanent. Life was so unpredictable! I felt my life was meaningless. I was dejected, and really did not want to live any longer.
At that time, I had the great fortune to learn Falun Gong. Since then, I have been walking on the bright path of cultivation. In studying the Fa, I understood that the true reason for all my pain and suffering is karma. To be a human being in this human world is not our real purpose for coming here. It is difficult to get a human body, and even more difficult to have the opportunity to encounter Falun Dafa! I came to understand that the meaning of life is to return to our true homes. As I came to understand the Fa principles, I suddenly felt free, limitless and released. After I began practicing Falun Gong, all my illnesses disappeared. I am now like a youngster, full of vim and vigor. A smile has arisen from the bottom of my heart and is now always on my face. Teacher has rescued me with great mercy. He pulled me out of the boundless sea of suffering. Teacher, how can a disciple not follow you to the end! Even if there are tremendous dangers and difficulties, even if the seas dry up and the rocks crumble, I will follow you!
In the beginning of learning the Fa, as I was rather illiterate. I did not recognize many words. It was very difficult to study the Fa. During group study, I mainly listened to other practitioners read. After reading lecture four, I decided to hand-copy the book. I thought this could deepen my understanding. I marked characters with the same pronunciation next to unknown characters. This made it easier for me to memorize. At that time, in order to maintain a livelihood, I had to work during the day. I copied the book at night time. Sometimes, to write a character, I looked at it many times. It took me seven months to copy Zhuan Falun. Even my spouse had to admire my determination and will. At the booth, when there were no customers, I read the book. On the way to and from work, I often recited Teacher's articles. Teacher said,
"Study the Fa and obtain the Fa, share in learning and share in cultivating, following [the Fa] in everything, compliance is cultivation."
(Hong Yin - "Solid Cultivation")
I keep Teacher's words firmly in mind. I must achieve Teacher's requirements, then I am truly cultivating. I started to treat my spouse with compassion and tolerance. I noticed that all my grievances, hatred and feelings of injustice vanished into the air. At 4 a.m. every morning, I took a tape player and rushed toward the practice site. I increased the time of holding the wheel from 15 minutes to an hour and a half, I improved my sitting meditation, progressing from single-leg crossing to double-leg crossing, from 5 minutes to 2 hours. From April 8, 1996 to July 20, 1999 was a wonderful period of time! I understood the true meaning of the life. I felt reborn. I had attained new life!
2. Strive Forward, Do Not Wait For or Rely on Others, Closely Follow the Fa-Rectification Process
In July 1999, the situation suddenly changed. Teacher and Dafa were widely slandered and framed by Jiang's regime. As a Dafa disciple, how could I sit at home and be an observer? I must go to Beijing to clarify the truth. From September 1999 to December 2000, I went to Beijing to validate the Fa five times, and did what I understood a disciple should do.
I was inexperienced and did not achieve the expected results the first two times. Regrettably, when I went the second time, I was captured by the police before I could validate Dafa.
What should I do? After the police released me, I diligently studied the Fa and practiced the exercises. I contemplated several questions. Do we need to take action together as a group? Validating the Fa is every disciple's responsibility. Why do we have to rely on other practitioners? It is more expedient and easier for one person to come and go. The target is small and not easy to be discovered. It is of greater advantage than a collective action. So I decided to unfold a banner in Beijing by myself.
I became literate only after studying Falun Dafa. I had not written with a brush before. But, with Teacher's encouragement, I wrote "Falun Dafa is Great" on a red paper with a big brush. I got everything ready, and took the express train to Beijing for the third time in April 2000. I arrived at Tiananmen Square without any problem. It all went very smoothly. A foreign tourist group came towards me, I thought I should let the whole world hear that Falun Dafa is great, and let them know the truth of persecution in China. At that moment, I felt no fear. I immediately unfurled my banner in front of them. At the same time I shouted: "Falun Dafa is great!" "Falun Dafa is treated unjustly!" "Restore the reputation of my Teacher!" These words which had been filling my heart finally burst out like a volcano, and made many tourists stop and watch. The police heard it, rushed towards me from the memorial hall and arrested me. Later, I was sent back to Wuhan City and detained at the brainwashing center for 100 days.
The police originally held me with other fellow practitioners. The practitioners had been there for a long time, and could not get any information from outside. I told them about the situation outside and shared all the information I had read on the Minghui website. They felt very encouraged. When we had time, we recited Teacher's articles and Hong Yin together, and shared cultivation experiences.
The leader of the detention center feared that I had too much influence over the other practitioners, so they isolated me and locked me up in the restroom. I thought, no matter where it is, disciples should introduce the Fa, validate the Fa and tell the truth about the persecution. So I chatted with the people who supervised me each day. I told them about the benefits of practicing Falun Gong. I rebutted the slander and lies against Teacher and Dafa that were broadcast on television daily. I spoke of the great improvement of body and mind I'd experienced after practicing Dafa. I told them about my experiences and what I had witnessed. I found most of the staff at the detention center were kind and only a few held on to their stubborn beliefs. They often listened delightedly and some of them even asked me on their own. I felt very grateful that they were interested in Dafa.
The leader of the detention center was afraid that if it continued like that, I wouldn't be "transformed" but instead they would all become in favor of Falun Dafa. So the leader locked me up in a confinement room. It was a room for two people. I rarely could talk to anyone there. I knew deep in my heart that Teacher was looking after me and was by my side. I was not lonely. Instead I was contemplating and had lots of time to study the Fa.
At that time, Teacher's new article "Towards Consummation" was published. Fellow practitioners from the outside tried to bring us Teacher's new articles as soon as they were available. During that period, I memorized many of Teacher's articles. Because I could truly concentrate and be tranquil, the result of my Fa study was very good. I felt every word and sentence Teacher spoke filling me and being imprinted in my mind and heart. Although three people watched me, I practiced the exercises daily, and did five sets of exercises without stopping. They could not change me or affect my belief in Dafa. After more than three months, I walked out of the brainwashing center.
I knew many sentient beings were still deluded by the lies. Dafa practitioners' truth-clarification could not stop for one moment. After I left the detention center, I immediately joined the force of the Fa-rectification. I got up very early to practice the exercises every day, then simply tidied up family matters and went out. Parks, commercial areas and markets were the places I visited daily. I did everything possible to address people in the crowd. I found ways to address the Falun Gong issue. Because of our benevolent Teacher's arrangement, there were always some people who willingly listened to me about the truth and my experience. I certainly was not eager for instant results, but I thought it most important to tell all people who had a predestined relationship with me about the real situation of Falun Gong. I thus was able to break through the evil forces and information blockade, even if just in a limited way. I destroyed the foolish delusion of the evil and their attempt to hoodwink the public. When I clarified the truth, I displayed Dafa disciple's firm faith, mercy and sincerity. I understood that as long as people held some kindness in their heart, they would receive the message. They would question the deceptive propaganda by the Chinese media. Some even accepted the truth right away.
At first I only clarified the truth to the general public. Then I decided to clarify the truth to government officials. I had already told the truth to the community office and local police stations, thus I considered going to departments in the district, city and provinces. After I held this thought, I immediately acted upon it. I went to the appeals office in the district, city and province. I talked for 10 minutes at the district office, 10 minutes at the city office, and 5 minutes at the provincial office. I said what they did not dare to say out loud, although I had only a little time. A few days later, I found the person in charge of "handling the Falun Gong issue" at a district Public Security Bureau and told him the truth. One of my fellow practitioners felt surprised that I could go everywhere without any problems. I fully understand that this is not because I am skilled, but because of the mighty power of Dafa. As long as our hearts are in the Fa, put down attachments, remain confident and righteous, we can suppress the evil, and bring people's kindness and conscience to the forefront.
In early December 2000, I decided to go to Beijing a fourth time to validate the Fa and clarify the truth. Before I left, I memorized all the points in my mind and heart. I asked others to write a complaint for me to sue Jiang Zemin for the ten crimes he had committed. I arrived in Beijing without difficulty and was fully prepared. This time I did not go to Tiananmen, but directly to the appeals office. I needed to finish the sacred mission of a Dafa practitioner. The staff at the appeals office asked me to come back in the afternoon. I told myself that I could not wait until the afternoon. So I openly told them that I was a Falun Gong practitioner, and that I came to appeal for help and to sue Jiang Zemin.
My earthshaking introduction shocked the staff. They decided to extend their working hours, and found a quiet room where we would not be disturbed, at my request. The person in charge met me there. As stipulated under the rules of the appeals office, I filled out the required form. I put it in my pocket, and told them I would hand it in after the conversation. I sat with the appeal officer and faced him honestly and directly, then I started to talk and refuted the false claims publicized by Jiang's regime one by one. When I exposed the deeds of the police at Masanjia Forced Labor Camp who stripped off 18 female practitioners' clothes and threw them naked into a cell filled with men, I could not control myself and tears streamed down my face. I said, "They are my fellow practitioners, and your fellow countrymen. I heard that the Japanese killed, robbed and raped people when they invaded China. I can't believe that today, authorities in our own jails act so dishonorably, cruelly and lacking morality! Jiang's regime employs massive manpower and limitless financial resources to persecute Falun Gong disciples. Why can't the money be spent on people in disaster areas and impoverished places? Why this?" The middle-aged man opposite me listened quietly to me for more than half an hour, and kept making notes in his notebook. After I finished talking, I handed my complaint to him, and asked him to assure me that the State Council would receive it. Then he took the form I had filled out.
Beijing at that time was plagued by state sponsored terrorism against Falun Gong. The appeals office staff did not dare express their support for Falun Gong publicly. But, they expressed their deep respect to a Dafa practitioner in how they treated me and what they could do within their power. They drove me to the Beijing office of my local government in a luxury car. The cadre who accompanied me asked: "Madam, have you ever sat in such a luxurious car before?"
Throughout the entire time, the appeals office staff treated me with great respect. Given their usual behavior, this was an obvious exception. This was because suing Jiang Zemin is really a great magnificent feat. This is the result of popular sentiment and divine intervention.
Many practitioners were being held where they took me. When I told them I had been to the appeals office to explain the truth, more than ten fellow practitioners listened with tears in their eyes. Afterwards, an unknown practitioner gave me a banner that read "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance Forever." I hid the banner on my body. Later, I was sent back to Wuhan. This time they did not take me to the detention center, but locked me up in an iron cage at the local police station. The public officers and leaders in the community center showed much disrespect towards me in language and behavior. They meant to insult me. I did not lose my temper. I felt their attempt to belittle me was very pitiful. Three days later, because I firmly refused to pay living expenses, I was released.
I returned home, took out the banner of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance Forever," and decided to unfurl it at Tiananmen Square as soon as possible. Every minute and second of holding up such a banner at Tiananmen is precious, so my daughter helped me hide it in my sleeve so that I could unfurl it rapidly and correctly when the time comes. I practiced unfurling it several times at home until I felt very confident I could do it well. Ten days later, I went to Beijing for the fifth time. This time I discovered the policemen were everywhere at Tiananmen Square. Within every three steps there was a policeman. I wanted to find a place where there were fewer policemen, so I could hold the banner for a bit longer, and shout a few more righteous words. I could not find such a place. I saw more tourists near Jinshui Bridge, so I walked on the bridge, quickly unfolded the banner, and shouted "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance Forever!"
It was a pity that I only could hold up the banner for several seconds, and only shout my message once before I was arrested by plainclothes police. After I was sent back to Wuhan, I was sentenced to one year of forced labor.
From the time I was arrested until the actual sentencing, I was taken to three different places. Finally I was detained at a drug rehabilitation center. At first I was locked up with drug addicts on the 4th floor, and supervised by these depraved people. All of what Teacher mentioned about the ugly phenomenon in the Dharma-ending Period was displayed in them. Their words and acts made me feel as if I would suffocate. Some of them were really unsalvageable.
Teacher said,
"Getting arrested is not the purpose. Validating Dafa is what's truly magnificent, and it is to validate Dafa that you step forward. Since you step forward, you should try to succeed in validating the Fa--this is the real purpose of stepping forward."
"Validate the Fa with rationality, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and save people with mercy--this is establishing the mighty virtue of an Enlightened Being."
(Essentials For Further Advancement II- "Rationality")
The article "Rationality" was already imprinted in my mind. I knew that it was time to act accordingly. The issue was, how I could achieve the purpose of validating the Fa? As soon as I put down my luggage, I began to plan. The nine rooms on the 4th floor held Dafa practitioners. In order to achieve the right to practice the exercises, they have "rushed to the hall" many times. I just had been detained. I was not eager to rush it. I said to myself that I must establish a disciple's image through every word and deed. There were five team leaders on duty, one after each other. Every one of them talked to me. I was filled with merciful thoughts, spoke softly, and displayed a Dafa practitioner's pure and friendly heart and good manners. I was carefree without worry, optimistically facing everything all day long, and displayed a Dafa practitioner's open and bright bearing even during the hardships. I frequently talked about Dafa, spread the Fa and clarified the truth honorably and justly. I displayed a Dafa practitioner's wisdom and bravery, which was achieved through melting into the Fa. I was always open, aboveboard and confident. I won the team leaders' respect as a Dafa practitioner. Even the leader of the degenerated people gave respect out of courtesy to me. It is exactly like what Teacher said, people all have Buddha-nature and demon-nature, the real purpose of Dafa practitioners spreading the Fa and telling the truth is to bring out people's Buddha-nature. When I introduced the Fa to the team leaders, I explained the issue of Buddha-nature and demon-nature. After a period of time, I thought I had already clarified the truth many times, now it was time to act. While continuing to tell the truth, I should "rush to the hall" together with fellow practitioners, and display a Dafa practitioners' overall demeanor.
We discussed our course of action in the washroom and toilet (because only these two places are public places). After we had returned to our cells, one practitioner took the lead to rush out, and practitioners in all other cells immediately joined. We rushed out, reciting at the same time Hong Yin. We tried it every two or three days, sometimes asked for the right to practice, sometimes protesting against our illegal detention and sometimes commemorating the publication date of Hong Yin. Justice and truth were on our side. There were many reasons for us to "rush out." The scene of "rushing to the hall" was extremely magnificent. It not only frightened the evil tremendously, but also greatly inspired us.
I remember on Teacher's birthday, we began rushing the hall at 6 a.m. As a result of drug addicts' impeding us, we could not succeed. I stood on the balcony, holding onto the wire netting and loudly shouted: "Falun Dafa is innocent!" "Restore the reputation of my Teacher!" People in the opposite building heard me, and one of them shouted with me: "Restore the reputation of my Teacher!" "Falun Dafa is innocent!"
One day, a young practitioner who is a law school graduate was beaten for practicing the exercises. In order to protest the depraved peoples' violence towards practitioners and the denial of our freedom to practice, we decided to collectively refuse food or water. By the 7th day, I had become very skinny and weak. They carried me downstairs and force-fed me with milk. I objected. During the hunger strike, my whole body was very painful, and I vomited blood and discharged black excrement. When I began to eat again, I solemnly announced to all those present, "Sooner or later, Jiang will be brought to justice!"
Once, artillery army officers and soldiers came to visit the drug rehabilitation center. After I heard about it, I prepared myself. When I saw those army officers and soldiers in camouflage clothing, I loudly shouted at once "Falun Dafa is great!" The center's leader breathlessly shouted: "You shut up!" I ignored him and continued to shout: "Falun Dafa is innocent!" "Restore the reputation of my Teacher!" The leader had no alternative, but to wickedly tell me to shut up. What else could he say? But, he actually called me to a small room afterwards and apologized for telling me to shut up. I felt happy that he was able to achieve this. This explained that in this small area, the environment had been essentially rectified. The remaining problems were only some superficial phenomenon.
Later, they felt helpless and had no idea how to handle me. They decided to transfer me to the 3rd floor, and threatened that anyone would cave in after being there. I knew nothing about the situation on the 3rd floor, but I thought that since I have Teacher and Dafa, what is there to fear? I replied: "You may transfer me to any place, but my determination to practice Dafa is solid as a rock. I will not betray Dafa!" During the night, I pledged to Teacher, "I certainly must behave like a veteran Dafa disciple, and firmly and confidently break through this tribulation. I must make every effort to succeed for Teacher!" On the next day, three people took me to the 3rd floor. I went downstairs, before I went into the room, I thought I had to demonstrate my righteousness, suppress the evil with a Dafa disciple's righteous field, and strike at those who actually dreamed about making me betray Dafa. Hence I loudly shouted while walking: "I am coming! Falun Dafa is righteous! Restore the reputation of my Teacher!" Two drug addicts supervised me on the 3rd floor. They brought more than 40 people who had gone down an evil path to talk to me. The number of people at any one time was as high as 11 and as low as 4 or 5. Because I had the Fa in my heart, they found no loophole they could take advantage of. Sometimes I tested them to recite the Fa, but they had forgotten it all. Sometimes I spoke righteously: "I refuse to meet with you. I do not recognize people who do not recognize Teacher!" Then they said they would get someone special to transform me. I responded, "The human world has heroic models to set an example, but Dafa practitioners walk their path alone without any role model. Whoever comes will not convince me, I only listen to the Teacher!"
Seeing them after they had left the right path, enlightened on an evil path and betrayed Dafa, I felt so uncomfortable. This was the first time sad tears ran down my face, although I had been in the drug rehabilitation center for so long. That's right! Teacher said:
"The trials that a cultivator goes through are something an everyday person could not endure. That is why throughout history so few people have been able to succeed in cultivation and reach Consummation."
(Essentials For Further Advancement II- "Position")
Half a month later, they realized that they could not transform me, so they locked me up in the confinement room. The room was so small. There was hardly any space. The room could only hold the bed. I spent almost all the time in bed during the following three and a half months. Once I opened up my eyes in the morning, the first thing I needed to do was to steady my righteous thoughts. I warned myself: Don't forget Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance! Don't forget I am a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period! Don't forget "Amidst truth and falsehood, enlightening is important!" Don't forget to look inwards and cultivate myself! Don't forget to abandon the attachment to competitiveness, attachment of zealotry, mentality of showing off, jealousy and fear! Don't forget, one thought can bring about different consequences! Don't forget to follow the Fa in everything, as compliance with the Fa is cultivation. Then I began to recite Teacher's article for an hour and a half once in the morning and once at night. Every day was like that.
During the three and a half months in the confinement cell, the manager visited me six times. Once he asked me if I wanted to read a magazine. He said: "It is so boring to be here." I replied: "I do not want to read a magazine, I want to read Zhuan Falun!" The manager laughed, "Zhuan Falun? We do not have it here."
Later, the center brought my spouse and children to force me to compromise. At that moment, what I wanted to say to my relatives were also words of spreading the Fa and clarifying the truth. I told them not to come any more. As they did not listen, I simply no longer met with them. The center cadre said I refused to acknowledge family, I categorically replied, "You forced me to come to this secluded drug rehabilitation center, and it is you who makes me unable to reunite with my family! I was originally a person full of sentimentality, but now I finally put down this attachment. I believe one day when I leave here, my spouse will still be my spouse, and my children will still be my children, actually I do not lose anything." Teacher said,
"When a tribulation arrives, if you, a disciple, can truly maintain an unshakable calm or be determined to meet different requirements at different levels, this should be sufficient for you to pass the test."
(Essentials For Further Advancement- "Expounding on the Fa")
Teacher also said,
"You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful-the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments."
(Essentials For Further Advancement- "True Cultivation")
Teacher's words are truly correct!
Teacher has personally arranged my cultivation path. I must truly be a qualified practitioner and follow Teacher. When I spread the Fa and explain the truth, I usually can meet the requirement of Fa principles, but sometimes I am really a bit persistent. When the cadres of the drug rehabilitation center asked for my academic qualifications, I certainly told them the truth. I only studied a year and a half in primary school, but I read Dafa's book and went from primary school to secondary school, then to high school. I think now I should have attained university level.
One day, a lady in bright, silver-white colored clothes came to me in my dream, and walked towards me with a smile. At that moment, a voice came from far away, "Go home to reunite!" After I woke up, I thought probably an angel sent by Teacher delivered the message to me in the dream. Several days later, on October 8, 2001, the drug rehabilitation center unconditionally released me and sent me home in a car a month early.
(to be continued)