(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, great and benevolent Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I really appreciate the chance to share my experiences here. I'd never thought of writing an experience-sharing article before. I feel that I haven't cultivated myself very well, as much of the time, I have stumbled along. I was also concerned that once I thought of writing an article, my attachments to showing off and validating myself would emerge. Furthermore, I am not good at writing and it takes me a long time to write down what I want to say. I realized recently that writing an article is also an indispensable part of cultivation—much like a student taking an exam. The attachments that emerge in the process are good opportunities to improve. Perhaps these attachments wouldn't be exposed in other situations, but now that they have emerged, I should eliminate them. An experience-sharing conference is also a form that Master has given us, so that we can cultivate and improve as one body. As a particle of Dafa, it is part of my responsibility to participate in it. Due to my limited understanding, there may be several deficiencies in my work, so I welcome and appreciate fellow practitioners' feedback.
Changing Notions and Learning How to Look Inward
After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I realized that Master was revealing universal principles. Only by following Master’s teachings can one become a genuine practitioner. But it is difficult to obtain the Fa and it is even more difficult to enlighten to the principles. When it comes to looking inward, it could take me a long time to truly understand Master's teachings, break through everyday people’s notions or handle a conflict like a true practitioner. Master said in “Lecture at the First Conference in North America:”
“As I said earlier, it’s not because others treat you improperly, but rather that there’s something wrong on your part. For example, if the grand cosmic body is in harmony but there is discordance on your part, and a knotty situation occurs only where you are, you are the one who isn’t in accord with others. When you spot the cause within yourself and correct that problem, the situation will become harmonious and calm, and everyone will treat you nicely once again.”
What I couldn't understand or know how to properly deal with involved conflicts with other practitioners. I was puzzled about if a fellow practitioner didn't get rid of his or her attachments and only I eliminated my attachments, how is it possible for us to be in harmony? Because of this notion, I didn't always look inward when facing a conflict. So I was unable to pass these tests for a long period of time. I knew that I needed to look inward, but instead I focused on the problems of others. Sometimes I would get distracted by who was right and who was wrong, especially when I thought that I was right. I would then become even more indignant. Sometimes, I even believed that since we cultivate compassion, we should be considerate of others, so I must point out fellow practitioners' problems, help them improve, and not let them affect the whole body. However, if I could not upgrade myself, my attempts to help them would be in vain. It is just like Master said, “How can one’s qi dominate that of another person?” (Zhuan Falun)
I attended an experience-sharing conference in Los Angeles in 2006, and heard Master say, “Isn't Master hoping that you are cultivating well?” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”). When I heard this sentence, my former notions were suddenly eliminated and it helped me to understand a lot more. I should unconditionally look inward when faced with any type of conflict, thereby conforming to the characteristic of the universe. Compared to my previous understanding, I felt that I could now genuinely cultivate. When I am able to look inward and I am rational, I shouldn't be moved so easily by people. My bad temper then fundamentally changed. The intense conflicts with my family disappeared—especially my bad temper. When I previously got angry with my husband, I might have ignored him for several days. Although I had changed my behavior a lot since I began cultivating, I didn't eliminate these fundamental attachments. As a result, they emerged when I wasn't alert. The bad things that I couldn't let go of, combined with interference from other dimensions, brought me great harm. Master helped me to truly enlighten to the principle of looking inward, and I quickly eliminated my stubborn, bad temper. According to an old Chinese proverb, “It's easy to change rivers and mountains, but hard to change a person's nature.” My bad temper was previously impenetrable to the point that my parents would have to apologize to my husband for my behavior, and ask him to be more tolerant with me. They didn't believe that I could truly get rid of my bad temper, but it did happen through cultivation. Then, they could only admire Dafa’s greatness and miraculousness.
After I learned to look inward, I found it easier to pass tests. Once I find an attachment, I get rid of it quickly. It is now very natural for me to do, just like Master says, “To a genuine practitioner, I would say that it is very easy and not something too high to reach.” (Zhuan Falun)
Anything that makes me unhappy or uneasy touches upon my attachments. When I look inward to find which attachment was affected, I find it was actually a material substance that truly harmed me. Mind and matter are one and the same. Because I can keep calm and my body and mind tranquil, I can feel a part of my heart moving. Different parts of my body move for different attachments that are stirred. When I first realized this, I would lightly press my fingers on the affected part. At the same time, I told myself that I am a cultivator, and all these things are not my true self. Then, the feeling soon passes. I know that Master is purifying my body, so I feel peaceful. When I look back at the issue that brought out my attachments again, I would see things more clearly and know what I should do. Thus, after a period of time, I no longer had the feeling that my heart was moved. After finding out what the attachments are, I separate them from myself and then eliminate them.
One time a fellow practitioner pointed at me and called me out in front of many other practitioners. She was very loud when criticizing me for making a mistake. I thought that I was misunderstood—I wasn’t the one who had made this mistake—but she did not give me a chance to explain myself. I wanted to tell her what really happened, but she snapped back, “You’re making excuses.” Because I have learned to look inward when I meet with conflicts, I kept saying in my mind, “Look inward, do not be moved and thank her.” After a while, I felt the anger among practitioners had dissipated and the practitioner who criticized me calmed down. Although I didn't pass this test very well, I felt encouraged when I meditated the next day and found that my mind was more peaceful than before. It was wonderful. However, I didn't completely pass the test because my attachment of fear and resentment would often surface whenever I saw that practitioner again. I therefore tried to avoid her. I realized that there were many attachments I had not yet eliminated and were contributing to my cultivation state. I continued to clean them out, and was eventually able to calmly face this practitioner and greet her when I next saw her. The negative thoughts were gone and all I had in my heart was kindness for this practitioner. Of course, there is an eternal appreciation for the deep attachments this conflict helped me to remove.
Not Going to Extremes and Maximally Conforming to Society While Cultivating
After I became a practitioner, I believed that cultivation was the most important, and everything else became secondary. All of my family members are practitioners, so I only did everyday peoples' things if it was absolutely necessary. Instead, I spent all of my time studying the Fa, doing the exercises and clarifying the truth. I didn't balance the relationship between daily life and cultivation. As a result, I began to experience conflicts in my marriage. It was mainly due to the fact that I didn't get the housework done. I was a full-time housewife, but I still thought that it took too much of my time, so I didn't pay enough attention to making the meals, among other things. When my husband raised this issue, I replied, “Since we are all cultivators, how can you still be attached to this?” The conflicts became more serious over time. After I learned how to look inward, I realized that I was going to extremes. I didn't do well in fulfilling my responsibilities as a wife and a mother. I was not following Master’s requirements. I didn't even reach the basic requirements for a practitioner, so it resulted in conflict. When I changed my notion and attitude, I considered my family’s needs more closely. I put more effort into the housework and tried my best to cook delicious meals. I followed the ways of a good wife and a loving mother in relation to traditional Chinese culture, respecting my husband and teaching my children. Later, I discovered that I didn't spend that much more time getting the chores done, but the relationship with my family had changed fundamentally. Sometimes when I did more chores, I noticed that my husband was more likely to help out.
However, since we cultivate among everyday people, we must maximally conform to the ways of society. It is sometimes difficult for me to grasp this balance. Take cooking for example. I need to consider my family members and make delicious meals, but I shouldn't be too attached and spend so much time on it. Being attached to cooking delicious food, in fact, does not conform to society's requirement. A single thought can determine the outcome. Sometimes I feel it is very difficult. Compared with the cultivation of monks or nuns, the requirements for cultivation in Dafa is much higher. We can't merely follow a form, but must also pay attention to our thoughts. I truly realize this from what Master said in “Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006:”
“You do have to do everything well, but you can't go overboard; when you go overboard it's another attachment. Also, you need to have the right attitude toward Dafa and truly regard yourself as a cultivator. How you try to be diligent, how you regard the Fa, and how you cultivate--including the length and priority of your Fa study--you can't neglect any of these things, and they are actually more important, for this is your path, the path that you are to take. You are precisely to cultivate out of ordinary human society, and you are precisely to exist alongside the Fa-rectification while it is under way and be responsible to sentient beings.”
On the one hand, it is difficult to do, but on the other hand, we are so lucky. In spite of the difficulty, Master teaches us the importance of looking inward and constantly protects us. When we make mistakes, Master always gives us guidance in a variety of ways. As long as we can look inward, we will not go awry.
Letting Go of Self and Doing Well in What I Should Do
After the persecution began on July 20, 1999, practitioners' cultivation entered a new stage. In order to assist Master to rectify the Fa, overseas practitioners participated in a myriad of projects to clarify the truth. In order to accomplish our goal at that time, possessing everyday people's skills was very important. While I didn't have many special skills, I did have a sincere wish to help Master rectify the Fa and save sentiment beings. I saw that many projects were shorthanded, but I didn't know what I could do. After a while, I felt inferior and worried. I then participated in one of the media projects because I had a lot of time on my hands, as I didn't have a job. I could speak English and I knew how to use a computer. But after a while, I realized that I couldn’t meet the coordinator’s requirements for the project no matter how much effort I put in. I studied the Fa as usual, but I still couldn't make a breakthrough. I was very sad and berated myself for being so worthless. I couldn’t help crying. After a while, I suddenly heard a voice say, “Do you know how many lives admire you?” I was suddenly awakened. I guess Master saw that I couldn’t pass the test, so He pointed it out to me. It was true that I didn't have many of the skills that others have, but does that mean that I should put myself down and just give up? This feeling of inferiority included many attachments—the attachment to saving face, the competitive mentality, the attachment of zealotry, etc. There are just too many to mention. Later, the coordinator transferred me to a different group that was better suited to my abilities and I thrived. Although I was very busy and tired, I finally felt a sense of purpose.
From then on, I no longer felt inferior due to a lack of ability, and no longer selected projects based on what I liked to do. I was no longer attached to everyday peoples' things or even to things gained from cultivation, including accomplishments and mighty virtue. Instead, I simply take things as they are, and try to do well with what I should do. Of course, I do not feel that the work I do is really done by me, since it is all essentially done by Master. If we do not have Master’s help and protection, what can we really do on our own?
My husband and another practitioner attended a Dafa activity at a university one time. When the activity finished, they forgot to bring back a banner that had pictures of Master demonstrating the exercises on it. I sorted out all the materials when they returned and discovered that the banner was missing. My husband remembered that they forgot to retrieve it. I said that we should return and get it back, but he said that it had probably been thrown away, as all the booths were now empty and there was a lot of trash around. I insisted on returning to find it since the banner is so precious. I refused to give up. I drove back to the venue, but I did not know if I could find it. While driving, I kept asking Master for help. When I arrived at the site of the activity, I found that all the trash accumulated from the event was piled up next to the parking lot. There were a lot of black and white garbage bags piled up like a small mountain. I noticed one white garbage bag had been blown down by the wind. I drove over to look inside it, but I didn't find the banner. Then I randomly grabbed another bag, and opened it up. Luckily, the banner was inside and it was clean! This experience was very moving. I knew that Master had helped me. Otherwise, how could I have found it so easily? If I had not found it, we would have blamed ourselves and deeply regretted the loss. Thank you, Master. This experience made me realize even more that, “Cultivation depends on the efforts of the individual while transforming gong is done by the master.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master has already arranged the best for us. It’s up to us to listen to Master’s words and keep righteous thoughts. Our hearts will thus be unmoved. If we can truly follow these requirements, tribulations will be resolved, and:
“If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!”” (Zhuan Falun)
Finally, let's encourage each other with the poem “Unimpeded” from Hong Yin Volume II:
The paths of cultivation are varied
But none is outside the Great Law
When one is attached to nothing
The path underfoot is naturally smooth.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, everyone.
