(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1996. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began an all out campaign to “destroy” Falun Dafa in 1999. Afraid of being targeted, I turned in my Falun Dafa books, but I was still persecuted many times.
Between 1999 and 2010, I was illegally sentenced to forced labor for four years, jailed for three years, and detained for a month and a half.
I have been shackled and handcuffed, force fed unknown drugs, isolated in a small cell, forced to stand or sit for long periods, and so on.
Having been brutally persecuted and intensively brainwashed for ten years, I was seriously traumatized physically and psychologically. Although I was healthy in the past, I now looked lifeless and was sluggish, unresponsive, and forgetful, I couldn't take care of myself.
The CCP lied to conceal the facts of the persecution and spread rumors that Falun Dafa practitioners do not care for their families. They provoked and threatened my husband repeatedly, until he was forced to divorce me.
My son, afraid of suffering further repercussions as a result of the persecution, refused to let me live with him. I became homeless and was unable to take care of myself. My memory was so poor, I had trouble finding my way back when I went out by myself. I ended up living with my older sister. My younger sister also helped me out.
After I was released in 2010, I realized that the seven years of persecution I endured had been arranged by the old forces. I resolved to never walk the path arranged by the old forces again, and walk only the righteous path arranged by Master to save sentient beings and cultivate myself.
In Dafa, Returning to Righteousness
My older sister, who is also a practitioner, took care of me and helped me a lot after I returned home. She studied the Fa with me. At first, it took me a few hours to read just one page. My thoughts were scattered, and I couldn't focus. My irritated eyes and throat were extremely distracting. We kept at it, reading character by character, paragraph by paragraph. No matter how slow the progress nor how great the interference, I did not give up studying the Fa. I also practiced the exercises more.
After a year of concentrated study, doing the exercises, and reading Minghui experience sharing articles, I regained my mental clarity.
Previously, the old forces saw how I would often complain about the persecution in my mind and persecuted me for a long time as a result. In order to save sentient beings, I was determined to study the Fa and improve my state of mind. I got worried, though, because it was difficult to stop complaining and to clarify the truth properly without it surfacing.
In-depth Fa study strengthened my mind and body. I used my share of the little money from my divorce to find a place to live temporarily.
I started to clarify the facts of the persecution to people face-to-face. At first, very few people were willing to listen, mainly because my thoughts were not up to a practitioner's standard. Not knowing how to reach out to the many people out there, I shared my concern with other practitioners. I decided to send truth-clarification letters to clarify the facts to people.
Seeing other practitioners so busy, I also wanted to get involved in a project to save more people. I began to learn how to create truth-clarification materials with help from a patient practitioner.
I did not know how to use a computer. With a strong sense of responsibility, I took step-by-step notes on how to operate one. After overcoming lots of obstacles, I can work independently and even help other practitioners solve some technical problems. This process allowed me to realize that we should constantly look inwards to improve ourselves when working on these projects, as it's not just a cultivation process, but a process of saving people.
I remember once yellow lines kept appearing on the Shen Yun Performing Arts VCD covers I printed. No matter how many times I cleaned the printer, the yellow lines kept appearing. A voice in another dimension told me, “You turned in the books,” meaning that I should not be allowed to do the work. I responded, “I already made a solemn statement to deny that what I did was not in accordance with the Fa. It's Master's wish to save people, and that's what these Shen Yun VCDs are for. Do not disturb me.” The printer then started to function normally again.
Even during the intense heat of summer, I still worked on this project. Once, the printer started malfunctioning, and I couldn't use it. While trying to figure out what was wrong, my son asked me to attend his wedding. I was eager to produce more materials, but the intense heat and having to face yet another printer issue really bothered me. I reminded myself not to complain and put my son first in this instance. The printer worked perfectly when I got home from the wedding.
Printing issues kept occurring. The colors on the VCD covers didn't print properly. I resorted to spending a lot of time adjusting the colors on the VCD cover file and to buying better quality VCDs, but all in vain. I then decided to just relax and follow the course of nature. I started to examine my thoughts.
I concentrated my efforts on calmly copying and printing VCDs. I did a quality check by playing each VCD. In doing so, I felt a strong sensation of guanding from head to toe. After I adjusted my state of mind, the subsequent VCD covers printed out perfectly, with optimum color. It's indeed, "Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master." (Zhuan Falun).
In a dream one night I discovered a deep crack in my head. I felt Master put something in the crack and smooth it over, thereby fixing it. I was quite touched when I woke up, thinking that Master is so merciful despite my disappointing performance as a practitioner. Words can't describe my gratitude--I can only do my best to cultivate solidly and strive to save more sentient beings.
Sometimes when studying the Fa, I would lose my voice or forget my place. I would also feel something pressing down on my eyes, preventing me from opening them. To dissolve this interference, I'd send forth righteous thoughts and listen to Master's lectures, watch a Shen Yun performance, or watch the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party.
I know that Master is by my side, watching over me all the time. Master also gives me hints in dreams, like once when I heard, “Cultivate speech, study the Fa.”
I feel Master constantly supporting me through my journey of cultivation, and I can't slack off.
I don't consider how much longer there'll be, I'm just determined to cultivate to the end. Please point out anything inappropriate.
