(Minghui.org) Master told us:
“Showing off itself is a very strong attachment and a very bad attachment that a practitioner must relinquish.” (Zhuan Falun)
I realized my attachment to showing off is the toughest one for me to eliminate. It can sometimes appear obvious, but often it is hidden deep and difficult to detect.
I have been responsible for making truth clarifying materials over the years. I check the Minghui website and other websites daily to check the news. Sometimes I would tell fellow practitioners the news I had read that day. I noticed that there were some practitioners that really liked me reporting the news to them, and they would even ask me to tell them what's new.
I found that when I would report the news to them, I would often embellish it with my own understanding, as if my understanding was best. One of my fellow practitioners made a comment to me, saying that even if the atmosphere and environment were improved, we still have to cultivate ourselves.
Recognizing My Attachment
From my continuous Fa study, I gradually began to realize why I liked to pass on these ordinary human things among my fellow practitioners. Master stated in “The Mentality of Showing Off” in Zhuan Falun:
“There are some people who also spread the hearsay among one another with a great deal of interest, as though they are well informed, and as though so many of our practitioners do not understand or know as much as they do. It has become natural for them, and perhaps they do not realize it themselves. Subconsciously, they just have this mentality of showing off.”
Reading Master's Fa over and over, I realized it was time for me to get rid of this mentality of showing off. It is very difficult to get rid of the human heart if one does not cultivate solidly, as that substance is not going to be eliminated by itself. There were many fellow practitioners who were not able to get online, and they all liked to ask me my thoughts. When I tell them to send forth righteous thoughts, if they said they did not know how, I would write it down for them, which reinforced my show off mentality. I also liked to express my opinions about many topics.
Until one day, Master awakened me through a fellow practitioner. He recently began attending our group Fa study. Several days later, he said to me: “I noticed that you do not cultivate solidly, you like to pursue things superficially, and have not improved from the fundamental level.” I had been feeling good about myself. I was able to recite much of the Fa, and do the three things well. Hearing these words from him I was deeply hurt. My deep seated, stubborn show off heart, was exposed.
Recalling my cultivation path, it was painful each and every time to get rid of attachments. I needed to find the source of my attachment of showing off. Even though it was painful and difficult, I had to do it.
First I realized it was the heart of selfishness. As long as selfishness exists in me, I would not be able to see the talents and skills of others, and I could not consider others first. For example, I was helping a fellow practitioner who fell behind. I thought that what I said was on the basis of the Fa, but her state of mind was fluctuating, and later she no longer wanted my help.
Becoming More Selfless
I believe it was because I did not relinquish the attachment to myself that caused the problem. If I only notice the shortcomings of others, and do not pay attention to if they have cultivated well, that is a serious problem. I needed to encourage her much more. How could a being completely selfless still have the mentality of showing off?
Another example, is when talking to people about Falun Gong. The result may not be what one is looking for according to one's attachments. Sometimes regardless of my efforts, they would not listen, nor would they quit the Chinese Communist Party. I suddenly realized why Master kept emphasizing:
“Whether your validating of the Fa goes well or not is often simply your own doing.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the NTDTV Meeting”)
Only when we have cultivated ourselves well, will we have the power to save sentient beings.
The heart of showing off is a heart of wanting to verify oneself. I often heard fellow practitioners say how many people he or she saved today, and similar things. The truth is, we all know, the only one truly able to save a being is Master, we just do what we are suppose to do.
“Working hard is part of your cultivation. You need to think of ways to find the people that you are meant to save. All of these are things that Dafa disciples should do.” (“20th Anniversary Fa Teaching”)
I have been doing the three things all these years, but did I elevate from the fundamental level? Am I truly cultivating? I always want to tell others how much I have done for fellow practitioners. The mentality of showing off can also affect one's speech, and saying things that are not appropriate can affect the cultivation environment. The mentality of showing off is indeed very dangerous.
I wanted to share my understanding of showing off, and I want to get rid off this difficult attachment I have. Please kindly point out shortcomings.
Category: Improving Oneself
