(Minghui.org) I was an extremely jealous person before I practiced Falun Dafa. When I heard about others' good news, I felt uncomfortable and I could not calm down. Whenever I heard that someone made a mistake, I looked down on them.
I thought that I had let go of my jealousy, until it surfaced again.
Just as Master said:
“It is because jealousy is displayed very strongly in China. It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it.” (Zhuan Falun)
My Jealousy Resurfaces
My jealousy surfaced again a few days ago. Although I did not have a conflict with a certain practitioner, my mind was uneasy.
Over 20 years ago, this practitioner and I formed a team and talked to people about Falun Dafa. She has an outgoing personality, has cultivated very well and has helped me improve on my cultivation path. We worked well together and our relationship has always been very cordial. If we were separated for a few days we missed each other.
We both realized that we needed to remove our attachment to each other, so we stopped meeting so frequently. She stopped coming to my home unless something urgent happened.
Several days ago I suddenly began having negative thoughts about her. I became angry with her and even had competitive thoughts.
Master told us:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.” (“Realms” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
When I looked within, I realized that this was a manifestation of my old jealousy. Why was I jealous of her?
Thinking back, I remembered that last year I asked her to handle a truth-clarification materials production site by herself. I offered her all the paper I had so she would not run out and our materials and weekly papers could be printed on time.
She was very busy printing materials. She also had to take care of her granddaughter and her elderly mother-in-law. She also went out with another local practitioner to put up posters every day. She did not come to my home for a long time. I became upset with her and this negative thought caused me to not go to her place and bring her the paper she needed. For the next two days I struggled to overcome my anger and to bring her the paper I promised.
Finally I decided that I should not let my jealousy stop me from what I promised, so I decided to bring her the paper. When I arrived, there were only a few people at her materials site. I stacked the cartons of paper I brought, added ink and yellow ink-jet cartridges to the printer, fixed a used-ink extraction tube and then I produced some materials.
By the time I returned home my jealousy was completely gone. My mind was very calm. From my calm and peaceful appearance, no one would have guessed that my good thoughts and bad thoughts were fighting fiercely with each other! My righteous thoughts overcame the negative ones. Without Dafa as my guide, my deep seated jealousy would have been impossible to eliminate.
Category: Improving Oneself
