(Minghui.org) I was just five years old when my father and I began practicing Falun Dafa in the spring of 1998. When the persecution began in 1999, my father traveled to Beijing to appeal for justice for Dafa. He was arrested and sent to a forced labor camp for three years.
Without my father at home, my mother and I were left to endure the hardships alone. I often overheard complaints about my father and defamatory words about Dafa from my relatives, neighbors, and teachers. Although I was upset by the remarks, I did not know how to respond to them.
My father came home three years later when I was in fourth grade. He brought with him Master’s Hong Yin and Hong Yin II, and I memorized most of the poems. Unfortunately, my father gradually fell behind in cultivation. He was held back by human attachments and the lack of an adequate environment for cultivation. Over the next ten years I also strayed from the path of Dafa cultivation practice.
Letting Go of Attachments to Fame and Profit to Return to Dafa
In 2014, I started work in a construction company in Beijing. It was a high-paying job and I could earn even more in bonuses when I secured a deal with a client. I gained the trust of my superiors and was promoted several times. However, the scheming behavior of my colleagues made me unhappy. I often felt that life was meaningless and even had suicidal thoughts.
In 2016, I contacted a practitioner in Beijing. In those few days, we studied the Fa every day, and I finally discovered the meaning of life. Before I finished reading through Zhuan Falun, I made the decision to resign, as the toxic nature of my workplace had such a negative effect on me. At that time, I was 24 years old. I realized that I had been deteriorating in the arrangements of the old forces for the past decade.
My superiors were surprised at my resignation and tried to keep me on board by providing more incentives. I told them: “Since I’ve made a firm decision to quit this job, money will do nothing to retain me.”
Eliminating Attachments to Affection for Family Members
For returning practitioners like myself, it is extremely important to have a good environment for cultivation. Since I had some savings and my parents were financially well off, I decided not to work for a while and completely focus on doing the three things. I rented a house near another practitioner.
My mother was very worried that I would be imprisoned for my faith like my father was. She called me many times a day to scold me and pressure me to stop practicing Falun Dafa.
I was torn apart by my mother’s attitude until a practitioner showed me Master’s article “Path”:
“Cultivation is hard. It’s hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation.” (“Path” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
After reading this, my mind started to settle down. After sharing with another practitioner, I realized that the evil forces were trying to use my attachment to affection for my family members to drag me down with the intention of harming me and my mother. I was determined, so I told my mother I would continue practicing and sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve the evil in other dimensions.
During that time, I often felt pained and could not understand why I chose such a difficult path. Yet each time after reading just a paragraph of Zhuan Falun, I would have tears in my eyes. In my mind, I told Master that no matter how difficult and tiring the journey, I would continue until the end.
Due to Master’s strengthening, I finally overcame this obstacle. Today, my mother no longer interferes with my cultivation.
Physical and Mental Endurance in the Lotus Position
After returning to Falun Dafa, I feared the fifth exercise because of the pain from sitting with my legs crossed in the lotus position. I took more than two months to overcome this obstacle, and I managed to maintain the position no matter how numb my legs were. Master’s words would flash in my mind and make me persevere:
“What’s there to fear? My body would still sit there even with my head cut off.”” (“Huge Exposure” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Initially, after just half an hour my whole body would start trembling uncontrollably, my teeth would chatter and I would burst into tears from the pain. After completing the hour-long exercise, my whole body would be drenched in cold sweat.
I knew that all this happened because of the karma I’d accumulated over the years, and Master was helping me purify my body and pay back my karmic debts. I knew I'd only endured a fraction of the pain, as most of the karma was endured by Master.
During group Fa-study sessions, I observed that out of respect for Master and Dafa other practitioners would sit in the lotus position. So I did the same. Initially, I could only maintain the position for ten minutes, but as time passed I could sit for longer. After I could sit in the lotus position for an hour during Fa-study, practicing the fifth exercise was no longer torturous for me. Once, I even managed to sit in the position for two hours and fifteen minutes.
I realized that the physical impediments I felt while in the lotus position are closely related to my xinxing. If I manage to guard my xinxing well, I will not feel any pain.
Cultivation in the Cold
During the winter of 2016, we made some 2017 calendars. Distributing these calendars at New Year was a good way to talk to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution. After sending forth righteous thoughts, I went to a nearby marketplace to give some out.
I was very nervous at first and even considered going straight home. But when I thought about how sentient beings had waited for their chance to hear the truth for hundreds of millions of years, I mustered up courage and walked calmly into a store. I smiled at the shop owner and said, “Happy New Year, Madam. This is a 2017 calendar for you. I wish you and your business prosperity!”
As she looked at the calendar, I said, “This is made by Falun Dafa practitioners out of their own hard-earned money, and is given to you with wishes for a peaceful and safe future.” I talked to her about the persecution. She accepted the calendar cheerfully and quit the Chinese Communist Party ( CCP) and its affiliated organizations.
Feeling confident, I next approached a man selling roasted sweet potatoes and talked to him about Dafa. “Aren’t you afraid that I might report you?” he asked. I replied, “I’m not afraid, because saving you is my priority. I only have your interests at heart.” He laughed and accepted the calendar after quitting the CCP.
The process of face-to-face truth clarification gives us the best opportunities to look inward. I realized if I have a hesitant mindset, it has a negative effect. Also, if I do not let go of my attachment to competitiveness, it will affect my truth clarification and make the listeners speak disrespectfully of Dafa. It is essential to maintain a heart of compassion at all times so that even if the person refuses to quit the CCP, our kindness and politeness will leave them with a good impression. We are representing all Dafa practitioners when we clarify the truth.
The temperature in Northeastern China often reaches minus 20 degrees Celsius in winter, but wearing gloves while distributing the calendars inhibited my movements so I took them off. Although my hands turned numb and cold, I felt blissful. I gave out 130 calendars and convinced more than 90 people to quit the CCP.
Not Forgetting Sentient Beings in the Villages
I reside in a town that has over 200 villages in its jurisdiction. After discussing with local practitioners, we agreed that we should be responsible for clarifying the truth to the sentient beings in the villages as well.
Distributing truth-clarification materials to the villages had its own difficulties because we were not familiar with the area and would often get lost on the ill-maintained roads. There were lots of stray dogs that would aggressively bark at us and follow us around. Yet, with the determination to save sentient beings, we remained unfazed by the dogs and eagerly delivered informational materials to every family in the villages.
Occasionally, I would come across some kind of test caused by my own attachments. Once, I drove to a village with three other female practitioners to give out informational materials. At 10 p.m., we drove down the last alley to place the materials by the doors of the houses before heading home.
As we were about to leave, we realized that the alley was too narrow for us to make a U-turn so we tried to reverse the car out. The wheels got stuck on the curb and we couldn't move the car no matter how hard we tried. To make things worse, none of us had a phone.
A security guard passed by so we borrowed his phone to call a practitioner in town. The guard saw our truth-clarification materials and exclaimed, “You’ve distributed quite a lot.” I was worried that he would alert the police, so I did not answer him directly. Instead, I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear the evil forces in other dimensions and started looking inward.
My fault was that I tend to delegate things to other practitioners and look down on them, making them reluctant to listen to my suggestions. If our cooperation is mixed with impure motives, we will attract interference from evil forces. Yet one thought remained strong in my mind, “No matter what we did wrong, no evil is allowed to harm us. We will only listen to arrangements made by our Master.”
We continued to use the guard’s phone to maintain contact with the practitioner in town. As we waited for help, we talked to the guard about Dafa. After listening to the truth, he replied, “Don’t worry, I won’t report you. I don’t do that kind of stuff. Nothing will happen to you.” He quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
Three practitioners came within an hour and got my car out. We sincerely thanked the guard and gave him money for the phone calls, which he gladly accepted.
On our journey back, the others reprimanded me for not bringing my phone and causing all this commotion. Although I felt a bit wronged, I did not talk back and instead looked inward. I realized that a lot of my attachments had flared up recently, and I understood more deeply the importance of cooperation between practitioners.
After returning to Falun Dafa for a year, I have been reborn from a karma- and attachment-ridden person to a true, diligent practitioner. Thank you, Master, for refusing to give up on me, and thank you fellow practitioners for your unrelenting support and help.
