(Minghui.org) When I continuously examined my cultivation state, I discovered many attachments that were deeply hidden or that I had neglected in the past. I also realized that I had developed more attachments as a result of being arrested multiple times. For example, I developed a strong attachment of fear and hostility toward the police and those working in the judiciary system. When I made mistakes, I had deep regrets. I had a selfish and secret desire to make up for my mistakes when I clarified the truth to people later on. I also found excuses for making mistakes in believing that I had karma from previous lives; that led to unknowingly acknowledging the old forces' arrangements in persecuting me. When I clarified the truth to people, instead of doing so with the heart of saving them, I had fear of being arrested and also worried that I wouldn't reach Consummation.
On the other hand, I noticed that those practitioners who seem to be doing well throughout the persecution are looking down on other practitioners. They don't want to associate with other practitioners and the one body. When they see others who are doing well, they are not convinced and feel jealous.
The old forces arranged all types of tribulations for us. When we cannot assimilate to the Fa in the midst of these tribulations, we develop various attachments, which in turn keep us from discerning our true cultivation state. As a result, our xinxing has not improved even though we have been doing the three things for a long time.
I am only using being arrested as an example here. In fact, being persecuted financially, having illness karma, and encountering other tribulations could also lead to various attachments.
In addition, I realized one of the fundamental problems this persecution has brought on is that all we think about now is the old forces instead of Master and the Fa. It seems that we had complete faith in Master and the Fa before the persecution, but now our faith has diminished. We used to be very proud to be Dafa disciples, but now our heads hang low with a shadow in our hearts. We used to trust that Master's Fashen would look after us no matter what, but now we have doubts. We used to follow the standard of Zhen-Shan-Ren (Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance) wholeheartedly, but now we feel that there is a need to be different to different people. It is my understanding that the damage to our physical bodies is less important than how we treat Master and Dafa in our hearts. It seems there is a layer of negative and impure substance in our body now.
I believe Master would want us to eliminate this layer of matter. The persecution in China now is like illness karma in a person's body. It is an illusion. When we can step out of the psychological shadow of the persecution, it will stop, and the old forces and their mechanisms will be destroyed immediately.
Once I realized these fundamental issues, I remembered what Master said:
“And that’s all the more so during this persecution, yet instead of developing righteous thoughts, you have allowed a great deal of hatred to build up. The wicked CCP is indeed villainous, and in the near future it will surely be eliminated. But do you know what a bad person is and what a good person is? If your mind is filled with hatred and malice, think about it, everyone: what kind of a being would one be? And it will show in your conduct and even in your looks, and people will see evil in you. I’m not saying that some Dafa disciples have cultivated poorly. The part of them that has been fully cultivated is separated away. For as long as you have human things left here on this human side, you will have bad things and bad thoughts, and the closer things are to the surface level, the worse they appear to be. The reason Master teaches the Fa to you is to tell you about these things and help you understand.
Nothing has changed. Master is still the same Master he was at the beginning, and the Fa of the universe will never change. (Enthusiastic applause) It’s just that during this persecution, during this so-called “test,” some people have gotten rid of their attachments while others have not, and some have actually increased their attachments. This is how they have acted during this so-called “test.” It is you who are changing; it is Dafa disciples who are changing. And if you are not changing in the positive direction, you are changing in the negative direction, for sure.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
I have a much better understanding now. Please kindly point out anything that is not aligned with the Fa.
Category: Improving Oneself
