(Minghui.org) Greetings, venerable Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2003. I've often stumbled along the way. This year, I started to memorize the Fa and experienced a big breakthrough. I would like to share my experience.
Beginning to Practice
I was studying in graduate school at a university in autumn 2003. While I was writing a thesis one day, a former schoolmate called me. As we chatted she told me that she had begun practicing Falun Dafa. She said she had become very healthy and wanted to tell me about Dafa.
I was very curious because I knew that she was a medical student. Why would a medical student practice qigong? I immediately went online to search for information about Falun Dafa. I logged onto the website “Falun Dafa in Taiwan.” When I saw Zhuan Falun, a shock wave ran through me. I deeply believe in Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, which is the nature of the universe. Every word in Master’s teachings seemed to make the cells in my body vibrate. I knew this was not an ordinary book.
The thesis I was writing discussed the philosophy of science, that is, I wanted to understand the nature of true science. When I had some understanding of Western scientific thinking methods, I had many questions. The biggest one was why this seemingly fair and objective logical way of thinking couldn’t bring mankind a happier life, and instead, why more and more social problems have emerged.
Of course, Master made all this clear in Dafa. But even though I had a firm desire to cultivate when I first obtained the Fa, I couldn’t clearly see many of my attachments. When I saw them I didn’t know how to eliminate them. I was happy to have the opportunity to practice Falun Dafa, but I was distressed because I couldn’t seem to get rid of my attachments.
Hard to Remove Attachments
I could see clearly at least two attachments. One was the desire to show off and justify myself and the other was lust.
I was always praised for my qualifications since I was young. As a result I developed a sense of complacency and felt that I was better than others. Consciously or unconsciously, I always showed off. I became more aware of this attachment after I began cultivation, but it was difficult to eliminate. My knowing side was clear, but when encountering tests, I didn’t handle them well.
Master said,
“I often find that you are in a good state of mind when you study the Fa or do the exercises, but when you come into contact with your work or other people, you become the same as everyday people. You sometimes seem even worse than everyday people. How could this be the conduct of a Dafa disciple?” (“Environment,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Lust seemed to be deeply ingrained in my mind because I was exposed to many bad things since I was young. I had lustful thoughts from time to time.
Master told us,
“People may say that it doesn’t matter what they see with their eyes, and that they can just stop looking at something if they no longer want to see it. But that’s not true. When your vision makes contact with something, that thing has entered. That’s because any thing can replicate itself in other dimensions, so the longer you look at something, the more it enters. No matter what it is, be it on television or on a computer, it enters once you look at it. As more of these bad things are loaded up in your brain and body, they end up dominating your actions. Your speech, your mode of thinking, your perspective on things—all of it will be affected.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
Since I didn’t eliminate lust and desire for a long time, I was easily disturbed when I helped to validate the Fa. I became numb as time passed and didn’t take failing tests seriously. Even though I regretted every time I made a mistake, I still repeatedly failed tests.
Breakthrough
During our large group Fa-study and experience sharing this year, an elderly practitioner mentioned that many practitioners in her area could recite the Fa. One person recited a paragraph and the next person recited the next paragraph. This surprised me. I always felt that memorizing the Fa was not easy, and it seemed that few practitioners were able to do it. But after hearing that so many elderly practitioners could memorize the Fa, I realized that they were very diligent. I decided to try memorizing the Fa.
She pointed out that everyone could recite the Fa, regardless of age, because it was not the surface part of human beings doing the reciting, but the microscopic part of our bodies, that is, our knowing sides. This reminded me not to be obstructed by notions. I thought about Master’s words.
Master said,
“The human body is so mysterious that it is beyond human knowledge, which can merely scratch the surface.” (“Firmament,” Essentials for Further Advancement )
I realized that the abilities of the human body may be infinite, but we are often limited by our human concepts. Memorizing the Fa was not the same as memorizing average books.
Removing Anxiety and Calmly Reciting the Fa
Every time I heard other practitioners talk about memorizing the Fa, I wanted to do so, too. But I always gave up after memorizing for a while. The main reason was interference from thought karma. I couldn't even recite a paragraph. As a result, I became depressed and gave up.
This time I made up my mind to memorize Zhuan Falun. As I persisted, I gradually realized what concepts and attachments were interfering with me. One issue I discovered was the reason I wanted to memorize the Fa was just to memorize it, but not to study and internalize Master’s teachings.
The difference between the two was that when I had a goal, I wanted to memorize a paragraph quickly. I was impatient. But when I wanted to deeply study the Fa or assimilate to it through memorizing, I did not feel anxious or discouraged for taking a long time to memorize one sentence; instead I put my heart into assimilating to the Fa.
When I stopped feeling anxious and calmly recited the Fa, I felt very happy. The Fa principles became clearer, and one principle after another would pop into my mind, because I had learned it many times. When I became impatient I had difficulty memorizing the Fa.
Casting Off Notions and Attachments Through Memorizing the Fa
Master stated,
“Many of you haven’t studied the Fa well enough. The reason you haven’t studied the Fa well enough is not that you haven’t studied or that you don’t spend enough time on studying—it’s that you study with an ordinary human mindset. You pick out those parts that meet your psychological needs. You think those are good and you selectively read them. If you skip those parts that you think don’t meet your needs, have nothing to do with you, or even don’t agree with your own notions, and you read selectively, then you will never be able to ascend in cultivation.” (Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants)
When I studied the Fa in the past, I found that it was indeed just as Master said. There were certain parts of Fa that I liked to learn, and other parts I liked less. While memorizing the Fa, because I had to work on it one line after another, I could deeply understand and feel its boundless implications. My thoughts became broader and I could feel my character constantly lifting. It’s really wonderful to assimilate to the Fa.
Remembering That I Am a Cultivator
As I continued memorizing the Fa, I found that attachments that were difficult to remove in the past were now indeed fading. I could better remember that I was a cultivator whether in ordinary people’s work or in projects of validating the Fa, and I was able to deal with everything with compassion. For example, I am a sales representative in my company and I am in charge of one area. Another senior colleague is in charge of a different area. However, he did not do well for years.
Last year, my supervisor assigned me to take care of that colleague’s area. After more than a year, that area’s business was gradually developed. The supervisor recently told me that the colleague wanted his area back. I was very calm and immediately agreed. I didn’t feel any injustice for the loss of my own self-interests.
I also found that my attachments to lust and desire were constantly reduced. I did not do this deliberately. My attachment was as powerful as in the past. As I continuously assimilated to the Fa and my mindset was raised, I felt that those lust demons in other dimensions could no longer interfere with me. I truly felt the wonderfulness of ascending in cultivation of Dafa.
Going Forward
After years of cultivation, I found it was very difficult to remove many attachments. But sometimes I felt that cultivation was not hard, because Master imparted the Fa to us. As long as we studied the Fa well and cultivated according to the teachings, we could constantly ascend and our attachments would be removed continually. All barriers and tribulations were just a boost to help us improve in the process of cultivation.
Finally, I would like to share Master’s teaching,
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
If there is anything inappropriate due to my limited understanding, please point it out!
Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2020 Taiwan Fa Conference)
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