(Minghui.org) Filial piety has a special place in Chinese moral tradition. According to Confucius, it is the immutable principle of heaven and earth and a divinely-mandated social norm for humanity. As such, he viewed filial piety as the baseline for proper human behavior.
The term “filial piety” refers to the ethical code of honoring one’s parents, respecting elders, caring for siblings, and nurturing children. On top of maintaining these social relationships, it also manifests itself more broadly in expressions of gratitude, shows of respect, and the reciprocity of kindness. Gratitude, respect, and kindness, in turn, were all aspects of benevolence: a core value of Chinese self-cultivation and spirituality and a key principle that maintained peace in the home and in greater society.
The familial emphasis within filial piety can be seen in its Chinese character, xiao (孝), composed of an upper portion meaning “elder” and a lower portion meaning “son.” This indicates that the son should respect his parents and follow their wishes. The earliest sightings of this character date back to the oracle bone inscriptions of the Yin and Shang Dynasties (1600–1045 B.C.), which attests to the prominent role of filial piety since the beginning of Chinese culture.
The character jiao (教), meaning “to teach,” in the Chinese language has xiao on the left and the character wen, meaning “language or culture,” on the right. Taken together, this combination implies that education should be based on filial piety and harmonious human relations. From these positive examples, people could learn the proper ethical values to guide their conduct.
There are countless stories, both past and present, of how the Chinese have practiced filial piety in their daily lives. We’d like to share a few of them.
The Selfless Gentility of Empress Zhangsun
Empress Zhangsun was the consort of Emperor Taizong, the forefather of the Tang Dynasty. She was recognized in history for her virtue and seen as an exemplar for future empresses.
Born into an aristocratic family, the young empress enjoyed a traditional education growing up. Even as a little girl, the prominent features of her temperament had already taken shape: she possessed a gentle and kind demeanor, accompanied by strong integrity and wisdom beyond her years.
A soothsayer once predicted that she would have the capacity for monumental responsibilities and said that she had boundless virtue. She was told that if she followed the natural course of fate, she would enjoy unparalleled honor and esteem in her life.
However, tragedy struck when the young empress was eight. Her father passed away, and she was sent to live with her uncle, Gao Shilian, who continued to care for her.
At the age of 13, she married 17-year-old Li Shimin, the second son of Governor Li Yuan of Taiyuan. Despite her youth, she held herself to high standards in fulfilling the duties of a wife. She dedicated much of her time, effort, and thought to serving her parents-in-law, supporting her husband, and educating her children.
In the ninth year of Wude (626 A.D.), Emperor Gaozu yielded the throne to Li Shimin, bequeathing him the title Emperor Taizong of Tang. Just 13 days later, Zhangsun was crowned empress—fulfilling the soothsayer’s prophecy.
As empress, Zhangsun showed no arrogance and remained humble. She continued to attend to her father-in-law, the former emperor, just like she did before they became royalty. Every morning and evening, she would pay her respects to him. She often reminded the palace maids to take good care of him and made sure that all of her parents-in-law’s needs were met, just like any ordinary daughter-in-law would do.
The empress was evenhanded and cordial towards the imperial harem. Her honorable, upright character set an example for the concubines and ensured peaceful relations between them. Because of her, Emperor Taizong’s harem was free from the theatrics that often transpired among concubines, which allowed the emperor to devote himself fully to state affairs.
The empress herself lived a simple life. She only ever took what she needed, with no desire for luxury or excess. Following her lead, the entire palace spent frugally while she was in power and was careful not to waste any of their resources. This austerity applied to everyone, even her own family.
After her elder son Li Chengqian was made the crown prince, his wet nurse, Lady Sui’an, often complained to the empress. Lady Sui’an managed all of the household affairs in the prince’s quarters and saw with her own eyes the prince’s worn-out belongings and meager budget. She pleaded with the empress to be a little more generous with her son, saying that the prince was now the future emperor and should have the wealth to match. But Empress Zhangsun refused her request.
“Precisely because he is the crown prince, the only shortage that should concern him is a shortage of merit and integrity,” she told Lady Sui’an. “He still has much to learn and must earn the respect of his subjects. With that in mind, why should he be troubled by the age of household objects?”
The empress’ fairness and wisdom won over the palace, and almost everyone was willing to defer to her decisions and follow her advice.
In the eighth year of Zhenguan (634 A.D.), Empress Zhangsun accompanied Emperor Taizong to visit Jiucheng Palace. On the way, she caught a cold, which led to a relapse of an old illness. She deteriorated rapidly over the next year and a half.
In the summer of the tenth year of Zhenguan (636 A.D.), as she was dying, she reminded Emperor Taizong to treat his righteous ministers kindly and to not let her relatives take prominent positions in the imperial court. She also asked for a simple funeral.
However, Emperor Taizong ordered the construction of Zhaoling Mausoleum for his beloved empress. A special tower was also built in the cemetery so that the empress’s soul could enjoy the beautiful view at any time, a symbol of the emperor’s enduring admiration and longing for his departed wife.
Empress Zhangsun spent only 36 short years on this earth. Yet, in that time, she not only earned the reverence and adoration of her people but also set a great example of what a virtuous wife and benevolent mother looks like for generations to come.
How a Daughter-in-Law Resolved Grudges with a Heart of Compassion
Hsiuzhen (right) and her twin sister Hsiuyin (left)
Liao Hsiuzhen from Xinbei, Taiwan, lived in the same apartment with her in-laws after she got married.
Unfortunately, her mother-in-law had a hot temper and was very domineering. Everything had to be done her way and there was no room for negotiation. On top of this, her mother-in-law suffered from depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, and had to take medication for her mental illnesses.
Hsiuzhen, who has been hardworking since she was a child, never complained to her husband. But deep in her heart, without her knowledge, resentment for her mother-in-law had taken root. And as it grew, her feelings for her mother-in-law became more and more complicated.
Meanwhile, her mother-in-law was becoming more emotionally unstable, to the point where she would threaten to jump off their building and commit suicide from time to time. Hsiuzhen found herself in a state of constant fear and anxiety. As a result, she was unable to conceive even after six years of marriage.
The young couple later moved to Taidong temporarily, and Hsiuzhen was finally able to become pregnant. It was also during this period that she began to practice Falun Dafa.
In January 2004, Hsiuzhen, now pregnant with her second daughter, moved back to Xinbei with her family. Her mother-in-law was still her old self, only worse. But Hsiuzhen had changed. From the teachings of Falun Dafa, she learned of a magic tool that resolves interpersonal conflicts: to look inward for her own shortcomings and let go of any negative thoughts.
Her mother-in-law always favored the daughter of her younger son. Once, at a big family get-together, her mother-in-law only hugged the daughter of her younger son and completely ignored Hsiuzhen’s two daughters, who were also looking forward to a hug from grandma. Even their other relatives felt that the grandma was taking things too far.
“Why are you treating the little ones so differently?” asked one of the relatives. “You only hugged this one, and completely ignored her cousins. You’re being so unfair.”
Looking at her teary-eyed daughters, Hsiuzhen felt very upset, and she could feel a bitterness start to creep into her heart. A thought flashed through her mind: “I won’t forgive you for this.” No matter how hard Hsiuzhen tried to suppress the thought, it refused to go away.
Later, Hsiuzhen realized that the thought was the result of her jealousy. Gradually, she let go of the attachment, and soon, incidents like this no longer upset her. As she grew to accept her mother-in-law’s behavior, such incidents also became fewer and further between.
One day, her mother-in-law’s younger son came to see his mother, and the old lady prepared some freshly squeezed fruit juice for him to take home. Just then, Hsiuzhen came downstairs. She wasn’t even aware of what was going on.
“Look at your sister-in-law’s face,” her mother-in-law said to her son. “Just because I didn’t make juice for her, she is giving me that nasty expression!”
Both Hsiuzhen and her brother-in-law were stunned by this sudden outburst and were at a loss for words.
But Hsiuzhen was a Dafa practitioner, after all. She immediately looked within to see if she still had the attachment to jealousy or felt any resentment towards her mother-in-law.
Indeed, she often struggled internally. Although she tried very hard to eliminate any bad thoughts about her mother-in-law, the feeling of resentment still bothered her from time to time. After a layer of resentment was removed, another layer seemed to emerge, and the process felt endless. Hsiuzhen felt rather distressed by the fact that she still couldn’t let go of this attachment.
Another time, for no obvious reason, her mother-in-law started to verbally abuse Hsiuzhen. Pointing her finger at Hsiuzhen, she yelled, “All you ever hope for is my death!”
Hsiuzhen kept calm and looked within. She realized that, although she never wished her mother-in-law would die, she did wish to live away from her. And even though she practiced filial piety when it came to her mother-in-law on the surface, she didn’t truly treat her mother-in-law with kindness in her heart.
She kept studying the Dafa books and endeavored to improve herself in cultivation. By degrees, the deeply-rooted resentment for her mother-in-law disappeared. Hsiuzhen was able to chat with her mother-in-law from the bottom of her heart and look after her as if she were her own mother. She also taught her mother-in-law to recite, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
With Hsiuzhen’s meticulous care and the support of many other family members, her mother-in-law’s depression improved. One day while Hsiuzhen was talking to her mother-in-law, the old lady held Hsiuzhen’s hands and said with tears in her eyes, “Do you know? You are the only person in the whole family who is truly kind to me!”
The pair have gone from “enemies” to close confidantes, like mother and daughter.
“I would never have been able to handle this situation if I hadn’t practiced Falun Gong. I might have even gotten depressed myself, and maybe even worse than my mother-in-law,” Hsiuzhen said gratefully.
Settling Grudges with Compassion
Feng Shumei of Linjiang City, Jilin Province, lived with her husband and mother-in-law after she got married. Simply because her first child was a girl and not a boy, her mother-in-law began to resent her and often picked on her for no reason. She spoke ill of Shumei everywhere and told her son to beat her and even divorce her. Shumei never argued with her mother-in-law but was very scared of her.
In 1986, Shumei gave birth to a son, and she began to try to reason with her mother-in-law when she was picked on. The old lady was furious and started abusing Shumei, even threatening to beat her. This was the beginning of a long fight between the two women. Whenever the mother-in-law scolded Shumei, Shumei would argue with her. She would even pour water in the yard in hopes that her mother-in-law would slip and fall to her death.
Her husband was head of the local police station at the time, and the conflict between the two women in the same house became a point of embarrassment for him among his peers. He eventually bought a house so that his mother could move out and live on her own.
Shumei began to practice Falun Dafa in the spring of 1999 and soon began to understand many of her problems and the true meaning of life. She changed her behavior towards her mother-in-law and often visited her with nice things to eat. After she and her husband purchased their own place, she brought her mother-in-law back to live with them. Her kindness moved the old lady.
Later, her mother-in-law suffered cerebellar atrophy, which made her largely bedridden. Because there was no heat in her building, Shumei rented a single-story house so that her mother-in-law would feel more comfortable, even though it meant that she had to do more to keep the house clean for her mother-in-law since it did not have toilet facilities.
Once, a friend of her husband’s came for a visit. He couldn’t help but praise Shumei when he saw how well she took care of her mother-in-law and how clean the house was.
“Your wife is extraordinary!” the friend said to her husband, “In fact, the reason I came today is not only to see your mother but also see how things are with you. I must say that Falun Dafa is truly wonderful!”
The following autumn, Shumei’s family moved into a new building. By then her mother-in-law already showed symptoms of dementia—she would leave her feces around the house and would even smear it on the walls. Later, when she was no longer able to pass her stools, Shumei would use a small spoon to help her get it out. She also had to wash her mother-in-law’s bedding and incontinence pads very frequently to keep her clean and comfortable.
In 2008, Shumei’s husband’s brother came over to celebrate his mother’s birthday. He couldn’t help but gave Shumei a thumbs up, saying, “You’re such a wonderful person!”
“It’s because Falun Dafa is wonderful. I changed for the better thanks to Falun Dafa,” Shumei said with a smile.
On December 23, 2008, of the lunar calendar, Shumei’s mother-in-law passed away of natural causes. When her relatives came to help with the funeral arrangements and saw the big pile of washed and bleached urine pads, one of the exclaimed, “The old lady was so lucky to have such a good daughter-in-law!”
At the banquet after the funeral, her husband held up a wine glass and gave a toast to Shumei with tears running down his face.
“Thank you so much!” he said. “You took care of my mother all of these years, all by yourself. Not even we, her own children, could have done what you did for her.”
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Category: Traditional Culture
